Monday, December 18, 2006

In Defence of Religious Persecution

Dear America,
A story that was on the Drudge report revealed how we as a culture are not very sensitive to the feelings of others. Sometimes this gets us into trouble as we travel to distant lands. This story was about a stewardess that was not allowed to take her Bible with her when her plane flys to our good dear friends in Saudi Arabia. She is now claiming religious discrimination by her employer BMI.

Besides the typical conservative refrain of "if you don't like your working conditions find another job" argument I would usually use in this situation, I would also add that her employers are merely looking our for her best interest. It's not like she is being forbidden to take a Bible into California, like something the ACLU would want some judicial activist to legislate from the bench. This is a separate sovereign nation that has it's own laws and ideas. One of these ideas it that they would want to cut her head off if she were allowed to just do "whatever feels good".

If the Saudi's would cut her head off, it would lead to a rather embarrassing position for the US and her greatest ally in the middle east. The liberal media would most likely ignore it because she was a Christian, unless possibly she was a really hot white chick. But considering for the sake of argument she is dog ugly and the liberal media ignores her story for something more "movie of the weekish", word about this incident would eventually spread, probably thanks to the conservative blogosphere, and the average man on the street hears about it. They would be enraged.

Then we would have diplomatic difficulties for our great ally Saudi Arabia, which would be most unfortunate. After all, Saudi Arabia has helped us so much in our war on terror and our oil shortages. They quietly "render" some of our most heinous terrorists and even execute some, sparing us the necessity of having to question them ourselves. The Saudi's are our friends and we should not put them in a position of having to behead one of our (or Britain's) citizens for being an infedel trying to corrupt their Islamic state with nonKoranic literature.

Like one of them said many years ago when they were throwing the civilized world back into the dark ages burning the Library of Alexandria to the ground, "If it is not in the Koran it is unnecessary, and if it is in the Koran it is repetitious".

You see America, the Saudi's are in many ways a lot like California liberals. While Saudi's do not share the California liberal's love of narcotics and alchohol, they both view the Bible and pork to be evil, and women to be sex objects that only exist to satisfy men's sexual urges.

This is what they believe, and we should respect that, like we do those silly Californians, as long as they, unlike the radical homosexual agenda, do not try to force their lifestyle onto us, which they clearly do not want to do or otherwise they would be funding those MADrASSas in America. But they aren't, and not interfering in our ally's internal affairs is the least we can do, especially considering the eternity in hell they are facing for their "religious convictions", which the persecuted stewardess obviously won't have to worry about.

It's probably just as well. There are no taxicabs or convenience stores in heaven. What would they then do?

For sticking up for our Allies in the Global War on Terrorism, your welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Sunday, November 26, 2006

More Americans are Getting in On the Bitch Slapping of the Electorate

Dear America,
As I said previously, I will cease bitch-slapping you for allowing terrorist sympathizers control of our Federal Legislators. But that doesn't mean I won't reprint some bitch-slapping from other freedom loving patriots.

So True:

'Real comics'

The Democrats are real comics. Since they won a few seats in the House and Senate, their leaders, Sen. Harry Reid and Rep. Nancy Pelosi, are asking the President to engage in bipartisanship.

Where have they been for the past six years when the President needed them?

They ignored the needs of the country and spent their time complaining and trashing.


Louisville 40241

Liberals will scream upon reading that "they were ignored by the Republican leadership" or "they were marginalized", as if they expected clear thinking conservatives, untainted by fallacious liberal thinking, to do anything but marginalize and ignore the stupid liberals. That is what they are elected to do.

I thought this next guy was actually a liberal but then I realized he is trying to be sarcastic. NOTE TO CONSERVATIVES: Leave the sarcasms to pompous Hollywood liberal elitess. This is one of the few areas where liberals naturally excel over conservatives that doesn't involve sodomy and handing out welfare to lazy people. You see, sarcasm is too much like lieing for conservatives to be good at.

Hallelujah! Liberals are in charge, tax hikes, pass for illegals assured (Non-Subscribers can suck it)

Glory! Hallelujah! Praise the electorate! Happy days are here again! The Liberals (whoops — Democrats) are back in control! Oh, the sheer joy of it all! Higher taxes, amnesty for illegals, much ado about nothing and no concensus on anything! “Pack up the babies, grab the old ladies and everyone go (with sincere apologies to Neil Diamond) to Sister Pelosi’s traveling salvation show.” Our redemption draweth nigh! Guest Preachers: Brothers Kennedy, Reid, Dean and surprise guests. Be very careful what you pray (wish) for. Sometimes the wanting is far better than the having.


Especially, if you are making minimum wage and get displaced when it is raised by the Democrats in January, he should have added.

It don't stop there:

Yarmuth's `crawfishing'

It's already starting. John Yarmuth is crawfishing away from the East End bridge.


Besides letting all of Bush's tax cuts expire (essentially raising taxes on all of us), forcing our brave military to 'put their tails between their legs' and run home from Iraq (like his hero Clinton did at Mogadishu), you can count on 20 million illegal Mexicans being made immediate citizens. And there won't be any new fence, either.

I just hope all who voted for Yarmuth and the other liberals realize what you have turned loose on all of us, all because of hatred for President Bush.


Crestwood, Ky. 40014

I wish he would have attributed which liberal sponsored the legislation he quotes that forces our military to 'put their tails between their legs', but I will just assume it was John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, John Murtha or Hillary. It would have been nice to know for sure though.

But I found Mr. BlandFord's letter particularly inspiring because I could draw from it paralells in my own life from it. See my tags have expired on my car. When a cop finally stops me to tell me about it, I will just ask him why he wants to raise my taxes. I was paying this amount, then I effectively payed a lower amount, then they will expect me to pay more than I was. That is a tax increase! Of course, the liberals down at the KSP probably won't see it that way.

Ivory Tower Liberal Elites refer to the rhetorical style of the following letter as an ad hominem logical fallacy. That is just liberalspeak meaning that it is true and they can't argue with the facts.

'World War III'

If all those opposed to the Iraq war had lived in 1943, we'd be speaking Japanese.

Iraq is a strategic target for Iran and Syria in establishing control of all Middle East oil. Then they can destroy America by refusing to sell oil to America.

You may not admit it, but since the bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon and all subsequent attacks on America, we are in World War III.


Louisville 40220

I have to disagree with the last part of Stich, Dick's argument though because the Lebanon bombing happened when Reagan was President. It portrays him as weak and he shouldn't have brought it up except in the context of the Democrats being in control of Congress then too.

Sorry to have to do it to you America, but I feel like I have to keep on you, so that 2 years from now you don't make the same mistakes again. When that day comes and you have shown yourself to be trustworthy of something as serious as voting, you will realize your folly. You will thank me, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, when that day comes and for that, America, you are welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

America, We Still Have A Lot To Be Thankful For

Dear America,
I know that I have probably already convinced you that your whimsical, and most likely drunken voting strategies are going to have disastrous consequences that you are going to have to live with. So I'm not I'm not going to bitch slap you tonight like I have been doing for the last 3 weeks. It is after all the Holidays and the season of giving is upon us or not giving in the case of said bitch slaps.

You know I don't want to America, its just that you make me so mad some times, like when you vote for Democrats, that I almost think that you are purposely trying to make me mad. Are you purposely trying to make me mad, America? Don't you know how bad that makes me feel when you make me bitch slap you?

Anyway, instead I would like to address the good things that we have to be thankful for. Unlike the heathens and pagans among us, this is what we do this time of year.

We can be thankful that John Murtha was not elected House Majority Leader. I not even that sure what the House Majority Leader even does but I'm thankful it didn't happen because that is what Nancy Pelosi wanted. When he told that Arab back in the Eighties that "maybe I'll be interested, maybe I won't" in taking future bribes, he revealed himself as a flip-flopper, just like John Kerry. Either you take bribes or you don't. It's that simple.

If a guy I thought was an Arab with more money than sense tried to bribe me, I would not have looked at it as a possible future business opportunity. I would just assume that he was simply doing business as it is done where he comes from or maybe Europe and unknowledgable about the way things were done over here.

I wouldn't be trying to get him to invest money in my district. I would be schooling him on the necessity of not offering bribes to politicians, especially Democrats, who almost without fail start counting up the gay terrorist hookers they are going to hire and how much blow they are going to score when ever they see a big pile of cash. That might be OK for Arabiana, but it don't fly in Indiana!

Thankfully, thanks to the whole Arabs-bribing-congressman thing, Democratic Congressman are gun shy about taking bribes from Arabs now. That is fortunate in today's political climate. When Al-Queda types start bringing the briefcases of money to Nancy Pelosi "in tribute", she will hopefully think its FBI operatives and will not be interested "at this point". It might be our only hope with the Democrats in control of Congress.

And for that hope, America, you have J. Edgar Hoover to thank. And me, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, for telling you about it.

Though I can't speak for J, for my part America, you are welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Enemy is US

Dear America,
Some more letter to the editor writers in the Courier-Journal have come out in agreement with me on not letting just anybody vote anymore. They, like me, also believe that perhaps the responsibility of electing our leaders should not be left to people who would elect Democrats. Here is what they have to say:

Philistines rule

If an untainted person with the integrity, the accomplishments, the tangible hard dollars delivered to this city and the genuine class of an Anne Northup cannot earn the endorsement of your paper, we are clearly in the hands of the Philistines.

The philosopher Pogo must have been speaking to this city when he observed: "We has met the enemy and they is us."

Northup is gone. Crank up your keyboards and begin to camouflage Hillary Clinton as a reincarnation of Mother Theresa.

Woe be to any Republican running for office from this city. Their chances for election would be as remote as would be an endorsement for a cigarette at a cancer meeting.

W. T. McLAUGHsaLotNot


Pelosi's values

We, the people of Kentuckiana by our voting actions (or inactions) have succeeded in bringing Nancy Pelosi and her secular-progressive, San Francisco values to our area of the country.

This lady has a record of promoting the killing of innocent children, taxing all people who work in order to pay those who do not, is ignorant of the need to protect ourselves from foreign terrorists and demonstrates absolute disdain for our military families, our families and our democratic institutions.

Now, she is third in line for the presidency of our country.

I hope we are all happy. We and only we are responsible for our actions. We have met the enemy and it is us.

E. W. Hoser

LaGrange, Ky.

Mr. Hoser's letter was particularly enlightening. I hadn't thought about how when a Speaker of the House gets elected, their values are immediately thrust upon the rest of the nation or at least Kentucky. But I guess that is how we got exemptions for drinking on Sunday within racetracks and convention centers - that had to be Tip ONeal's doing. I also never imagined that someone who gets elected to Congress and then becomes the first woman ever elected to be Speaker of the House would "demonstrate absolute disdain" for "our democratic institutions" but she is a liberal and from San Fransisco so it could be expected.

But this is a continuing theme among conservative thinkers everywhere. Here's one from the Mongomery Advertisor.

Pogo right about real enemy's identity

Pogo, the main character in the long-ago comic strip by the same name, once said, "We have met the enemy and he is us." Sometimes it appears that the worst enemy of America's war against terrorism is "us."

We broadcast to the terrorists that a significant number of Americans are not behind our elected government's war against them, and if they hold out long enough we will go away. We call our president a liar and compare him to the world's most despicable characters, past and present. If we were to say the same about our neighbors we would be sued.

We divulge to the terrorists, and then protest, our government's effort to listen in on the terrorist's phone conversations and to follow his financial transactions. When we do catch one, we fight to prevent our interrogators from using reasonable methods to get information about his plans.

We demonstrate against our treatment of terrorists, but not about the terrorists' kidnapping and beheading of our citizens. We "Monday morning quarterback" the plans of the president and our military leaders to fight terrorism, but we cannot agree on a better plan.

We quote the First Amendment to justify our actions. Although most of this may be political, such actions smack of aiding and abetting the terrorists. It certainly doesn't help America win this war.

Bob Stover
Alexander City
Of course, Mrs. Stover misrepresents the philosopher W. T. McLAUGHsaLotNot identified as a cartoon character, but he still makes a lot of valid points. Also from the MA, is this encouraging letter:

Stop encouraging our enemies:

There are a lot of people, some powerful and rich, who have gotten on TV and condemned our president, our government, the war in Iraq and many other things connected to Republicans. Their sour-grapes attitude and their desire to have their say are not helping anyone.


The soldiers have access sometimes to TV, newspapers and other means of communication, and they, too, hear these remarks. This does nothing but further put them in harm's way by taking their minds off the job they are there to do.

The enemy has access to the news from our country, too. To hear our own citizens and politicians, as well as entertainment people, put this war and our president down further fuels their desire to do us harm.

Some of these naysayers claim to love this country. If so, why don't they use their influence to help someone who needs it, or by at least keeping their mouths shut. Yeah, I know we have freedom of speech, but there is also responsibility that goes with it. We are in the middle of a war. For heaven's sake, stop giving our enemies something to smile about.

Patricia Taylor


Mr. Taylor brings up some good points, not the least of which is that our soldiers should not have access to TV and newspapers, at least until we get this traitorous liberal media under control. Maybe we shouldn't give the terrorist access to our news either, and the only way to do this is to shut the press down. Our very freedom depends on shutting down the liberal media and shutting up people who disagree with our president.

Well, America, I hope that me and my fellow patriots have convinced you to see the error of your ways so that you never have the sick demonic urge to vote Democratic ever again. Remember our freedom is at stake, and if preserving it means stripping the voting rights from half of America, so be it.

One glorious day you'll thank me for it, and when that time comes America, your welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Friday, November 17, 2006

I Can't Help Myself, You Had Me at Hello

Dear America,
I know we've been through some rough times here lately, me with my impotent typing fingers and you with your yellow cut and run Democrat streak festering like some cancerous disease. I know I need to get back on the right track of righting your errant course. Here is my humble attempt at doing that.

You may not have heard about the latest lurid scandal from the Democrats involving the very rich ex-Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards, or as one of my new favorite conservative writers calls him "silver spoon liberal...little Johnny Edwards" and says about his political record:
"Wait a minute. I thought John Edwards was going to make Superman walk again. Oh yeah, he died!"
I think that is SO funny. Anyway, Edwards apparently sent some maccacan 'campaign worker' to stand in line for him to get a PlayStation 3 at Wal-Mart and now there is this big story about it. Whatever, just so you get that in the full context of what my new favorite conservative writer says, here is his whole post:
" Wait a minute. I thought John Edwards was going to make Superman walk again. Oh yeah, he died!

So, another silver spoon liberal is to be thrust upon America in the form of little Johnny Edwards. Isn't that special!

This reminds me of Nancy Pelosi, the leftist from CA who allegedly stands up for the union people yet hires illegals to work on her Napa Valley Vineyards and the union fools still vote for her, or liberals who whine about SUVs yet fly all over in their private jets.

The hypocrisy from the left never ends, never."
I knew when I read that, I was in the virtual company of greatness. I knew, fingers be damned, that I, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, had to post again. It is the encouragement of people like this that keep me going. So here is my followup to his inspiring words.
It always surprises me when Democrats do not change party affiliations once they get some money. It just makes sense that once you have something worth protecting from the excessive taxation of the liberals, you would do all that you could to protect your assets from being stripped from you and given to welfare queens, (the Regainesque, Cadillac-driving kind, not homosexuals in drag).

I suspect that in Edwards case, it is because he is a lawyer and the fortunes he receives from the lack of tort reform more than offset his parties' huge tax increases.

I am actually surprised that Edwards didn't actually get a gay illegal immigrant terrorist to stand in line for the game console instead of a campaign worker. Or maybe in the case of Edwards am I being redundant and they are always one and the same.

Yes, all Democrats should be walking or riding bicycles everywhere they go, just like their major funders, the Chinese, or they are hypocrites. Horses are not an option either because their flatulence also supposedly causes the so called global warming.

Finally, I, like Mr. So & So, am glad to see Superman dead. I think his powers were too strong to have been concentrated in one man, and the temptation to be corrupted by all that unchecked power is all too great, unless of course that one man is George W. Bush.

But I can't fault Pelosi for hiring illegals now. As I understand it, snooty Californians don't have the calloused hands for picking grapes. However, when she passes the Federally Mandated Wage Increase and puts all those poor people out of work, they can then go take the illegal's place picking grapes, because the illegals won't be able to climb that fence that is going to be built on the border.

Everybody Wins! At least until the terrorist attack us because they were emboldened by our election results.
As soon as I hit the publish button I felt invigorated! And I hold out hope, that somewhere deep down in your Democratically controlled congressional mind, maybe deep, dark down in the reptilian core of your brain, I can possibly reach the non Democratically-controlled part of you that wants to remain alive, and alive in that non-slave way the liberals want you to exist in.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

More Woodshed Woopin' for America

Dear America,
I am still too hurt from your recent betrayal to speak to you, so I will let others say it for me.

From the Courier-Journal:

Some 'new direction'

Prior to the election, we had unemployment at less than the average of the last four decades, record tax revenues, lower taxes, the stock market and our 401(k)'s at record levels, inflation at 20-year lows, plummeting oil prices, no terrorist attacks on U.S. soil since 9/11, and the federal deficit down 50 percent over last year.

The Democrats offered change, a new direction, and apparently the American people thought a change was in order, and gave Congress to the Democrats.

From overseas, we are getting congratulations for the results. The al-Qaida leader in Iraq is ecstatic over the election and promises to blow up the White House; Hugo Chávez, the Marxist leader of Venezuela, congratulates the Democrats and calls Bush a genocidal leader who should be sentenced to death; 200 members of the European Parliament sign a joint statement calling the election the beginning of the end of a six-year nightmare, and best of all, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei of Iran says the election is a victory for the Iranian nation.

Is this the "new direction" we voted for on Election Day?


Democrats' real agenda

Having campaigned as moderates, Democrats are wallowing in their glory and are wasting no time telling us what they "really" want to do.

Oblivious of the consequences, the Democrats want to provide more welfare - so who needs to work? Pass higher taxes - why work?

Roll back the Patriot Act — so terrorist can be free to plot another 9/11? Pull troops out of Iraq - so the terrorist can control oil?

Pass gun control — so you can't defend yourself? Unfettered immigration — why do we need a country?

The result will be, we'll reap what we sow.

More people not needing or wanting to work; companies not able to stay in business.

Terrorists free to terrorize. Gas prices at $20 a gallon or not available at all, and a country overrun with illegal immigrants....

Allison Thomas

I am sure Osama Bin Laden and the Cave Dwellers had a rip roaring election party. And Rummy being gone was icing on the cake!
Rumor is OBL will have his coming out party in January.
Pelosi and Reid have him booked as the first witness in the Bush impeachment. Then he is off with Murtha and Biden on a college speaking tour about America's torture techniques.

- Blackie

There you have it, America. More of the player-hating you deserve for electing Democrats to a majority in Congress. Soon they will outlaw Jesus and force Muslimism on everyone. You obviously can't be allowed to ever make these kinds of decisions for yourself ever again or our very freedom is at stake!

We can only hope that when those newly elected Democrats decsend locust-like upon the nation's capitol, God himself will see how wicked Washington, DC has become with a Democrat majority and send a hurricane to take them out, like he did New Orleans when they were going to have that gay pride parade. Since it too is filled with black people, FEMA will again be slow to respond and the resulting chaos will cause the ultimate gridlock, or so we can only hope for the good of the nation.

Until then we can only wait idly by while THEY prepare to take our guns, socialize our medicine, raise our taxes and make it easier for terrorist to blow us up and for gay people to recruit our school kids to promote their special rights agenda.

One day, when all but a few of us remain after the sodomites and Islamists of the Democratic party have reduced this this country to a bunch of snivelling PC feminist atheist pansies, it's going to hit you like a righteous ephiphany. You will think "Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire tried to warn us, but though we had eyes, we could not hear, and though we have ears, we did not see."

You will wish you had listened to me. You'll want to thank me when that day comes, and when it does, America, you would be welcome. But unfortunately I don't associate with snivelling PC feminist atheist pansies, so America shape up or move to France!

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

America is Fixing to Go to The Woodshed, and Its Going to Pick its Own Hickory Switch on It's Way!

or WTF??? I Turn My Back for a Minute and Look What You've Done!

Dear America,
I take a little time off of blogging to let my typing hands recover and look what happens. You completely lose your way. I suppose I only have myself to blame, but I choose not to. THIS IS YOUR FAULT AMERICA!

You really screwed the pooch this time and not in a Rick Santorum kind of way. Our great leader told you repeatedly that a vote for Democrats was a vote for the terrorists. But did you listen? No, you went ahead and gave them control of the House of Republicans. Nice going. Now they are going to raise our taxes so they can give terrorists welfare. But you don't have to take my word for it, America. Here are a few others:

From the Courier-Journal:

This is a message for John Yarmuth. If you try to take away our tax cuts and engage (with your fellow Democrats) in a "cut-and-run" strategy in Iraq and Afghanistan, you will be another one-term wonder like Mike Ward.

Do not show more loyalty to Nancy Pelosi than to the people of Louisville or you will hear about it in 2008.

Also, if what the Democrats are proposing sees the light of day, Louisville could end up like any major city in Israel (with constant battles with terrorism) because the people of this district voted for a candidate that was endorsed by al-Qaida. Beware.


… I hope the people of Louisville and the staff at The Courier-Journal are happy with an anti-family, anti-Christian, pro-abortion, anti-gun socialist in Congress, because that's what they've chosen.


To put a positive spin on the race: Anne Northup deserves a break from the rat race in Washington. John Yarmuth gets to try on the new lifestyle of having a real job.

Let's give this golfer and silent partner a chance. Those of you who voted for him: Please don't lower your standards now; watch him dabble with our future….


Yes, bring the troops home because we all want this war to come to our Lexus SUV's in our driveways and kill our no good redneck children, right? That's how you nuts all voted. And minimum wage being raised means that the educated working people will have to pay for it. Healthcare for everyone? Nice thought, but I don't want to pay for someone else's! I have my own problems and I can't afford good insurance, but I do not ask others to pay!


With the election of John Yarmuth, we in the 3rd District are the greatest losers. ... Ted Kennedy has another pawn, and Osama bin Laden has another ally.


After watching Anne Northup concede to her opponent, two things come to mind.

First, I should start budgeting money to stock up on ammunition for protection once the terrorists decide to move operations from the Middle East to the United States.

Second, with the apparent take over by Democrats of our government, I can only say, God help us.

Gary Billings Sr.

If [Yarmouth] votes to bring the troops home from Iraq too soon, that means we will have to contend with the terrorists somewhere else. Unfortunately, that means on U.S. soil.

If he tries to repeal President Bush's tax cuts, that means taxes will be raised. If he has his way with the health care system, we will have yet another socialist program and it will cost taxpayers billions, and it will raise our taxes. With taxes raised, that means those "evil" big businesses, who employ thousands of Americans, will only raise their prices and cut jobs. With higher taxes, interest rates will increase and the housing "bubble" will really burst. The prosperity this country currently enjoys is partly a result of Bush's tax cuts.

... I do agree with Yarmuth on his stance on immigration. We need to make sure that people who enter the U.S. do so legally, that way terrorists will not use this weakness. I hope he will have a backbone to stand against his party if President Bush comes up with a good plan.

Jeff Gosnell

See, America? We have worked so hard for the last 30 years convincing you that Democrats are evil and what do you do? Vote in a bunch of Democrats. You might as well go down to the precinct in Hell and vote for the Devil. Lets see how happy you are about this election once your increased tax money starts getting sent to buy terrorists plane tickets to come over here and have suicide missions. THAT IS THE DEMOCRAT PLAN!!! Buy all the terrorist airline tickets so they can come over here and blow themselves up in our driveways. That is how the Democrats are going to "eliminate terrorists."

America, you have been a very bad democracy. You had better start to shape up or maybe we need to rethink this whole suffrage thing, and give the right to vote back to landowning men whose vote won't be bought with higher minimum wages and universal health care. I can barely stand to look at you for this terrible betrayal so this is all I'm going to write for now.

But don't think for a minute I am through with you, America, I will not spare you my rod. One day you will thank me for this. And when that time comes, America, You're Welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Liberal Pervert Can't Help But Be a Masochist

Update: Liberal whiner Fed-Up06 actually comes back to the Kentucky Progress comment boards for more smacking down, like some leather wearing B & D masochist sex pervert he most certainly is. He followed up my post with this childish babble (in tantrum throwing caps no less):
Of course, I must follow through with the coupe-de gras:
Silly Liberal, Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen (aka the Red Baron) died in World War One, long before the rise of Adolph Hitler and his National Socialist Party. It was impossible for him to be a Nazi. Just because you hear a new word on TV doesn't mean you can just use it indiscriminately. Maybe you should take a history class in addition to an economics class.
They just never learn America, but I will keep on smacking them down for you, and for that you are most certainly welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

PS. This was the post Mr. Kentucky Progress, who doesn't suck like Mark Nikolas, was referring to in the comments of the previous article.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Some Notable Posts in Other Blogs

Dear America,
Yesterday Shelley The Republican writer Tristan J. Shuddery, A True Conservative Hero, had a wonderful expose of Martin Luther King's Republican roots, as presented by the National Black Republicans Association. The article mentioned however that he went to Memphis to support striking santitation workers. I posted the following comment seeking clarification:

As always I enjoyed your conservative wisdom with this article, however I do wish you would clarify one thing. If MLK was in Memphis to “to support striking sanitation workers”, wouldn’t that put him in league with a labor union, which we all know are backed by soulless Communists?

I cannot think of any Republican who would not tell workers that if they didn’t like the pay they were getting they should just get another job.

For Liberals out there reading, you probably need a history lesson:
Since the dawn of time until the beginning of the 20th century, employers were free to use any means necessary to prevent their employees from obstructing their pursuit of capitalism. Then Communist infiltrators started forming labor unions and convincing employees they should have some say in the way they were treated and paid, instead of finding another job where their “self-actualization might be realized”. Democ-rats, of course, just saw fundraising opportunities for their Godless platform and candidates by aligning themselves with these haters of Capitalism.

I certainly do not mean to contradict you Tristan. Our ‘party of inclusion’ has no place for dissidents, but others might have noticed this seeming contradiction as well, and we all know what the devil can do with a little bit of doubt, especially in the simple minded head of a Liberal. So please clarify that point for them.

Once again, thanks for all your good work.

Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Tristan graciously replied and all was clear.

In another blog, my favorite commentor on Kentucky Politics (who doesn't suck like Mark Nickolas), KY Progress, had a post about the liberals pandering to the weaker sex for votes. This of course brings the liberals slithering out of the woodwork, with some anonymous liberal cowardshrilly whining:
The fact is 9 Republican legislators believe that women do not deserve equal pay for equal work.

That is wrong!!
Cry me a river. Luckily a fellow conservative nkWiseOne straightens them out:
Here is another way of looking at it anon 6:37. A person (man or woman), negotiates with an employer for an hourly rate. There is an agreement between them. It goes as follows:

"You offer me X for every hour I work. I accept X."


If you as an employee find X to be unacceptable, then don't accept the job. Again simple.

The employee is trying to get as much as possible, in theory. The employer is trying to pay as little as possible. Come to an agreement, and there it is.

Now, why do women get paid less? I don't know. Furthermore, I'm not sure I care. If they want to be paid as much or more than the guy next to her, then she should demand it. If she can't get it, she should take her skills elsewhere.

KY Progress can barely explain "the best way to hurt poor people and women is to mandate their wages", before another liberal troll fed-up spews the following dadist nonsense:
why shouldn't women get equal wages... bad economics for who the ceo's that cant justify their salaries
Thats when I came in for the great liberal smackdown:
You are absolutely correct, nkWiseOne and KY Progress. Employers are already burdened with having to pay minorities the same as white people or Jews and Mormons the same as Christians for fear of bringing the wrath of Democrat-supporting trial lawyers.

Until the day men start having babies and taking a federally mandated 90 day vacation everytime they squeeze one out, this legislation is unneccesary. You just can't depend on women like you can men for this specific reason and that is why they get paid more. They are actually working on the job longer, not running off at 5 oclock to get to soccer practice.

And Fed-up06, CEO's are hired in pretty much the same way that nkWiseOne outlined. If the board members, democratically elected by a companies shareholders, don't think they are worth it, they just find another CEO. It is because most CEOs, being Republican and hence not looking for a handout, do not sell themselves short, like the average pod who settles for a minimum wage job, that they make big piles of cash.

For setting these poor-hurting liberals straight, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

PS. And Liberals...How about you all stop wasting my time and take an economics class? If you need a reason to step on a college campus, take a theatre class so you can hook up with sodomites for your devient sex orgies, whatever it takes to insprire you to learn some Econ 101.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Klinton made Chris Wallace his Bitch or How I Got Disappointed by Fox News for the First Time

Dear America,
I have never been ashamed of Fox News and love their unslanted take on the news. It is so refreshing to get news that is not being reported by impoverished newspaper reporters looking for a government handout. You can not really fault the press really, given that journalists are really just a college degree from slinging frys at some fast food joint. Few have the substantial investment portfolios that will give them any significant buy-in to the proper ideals about how the government should be run.

But FOX has tried to remedy this and does a real good job of it. That is until last Sunday. Supposedly "seasoned" journalist Chris Wallace had his ass handed to him on a plate by the Enemy of All that is Good and Decent, former (thankfully) president Bill Clinton. Clinton displayed the same rage he probably displayed when he ordered the hits on those people he had killed, which some liberals dispute.

Bill Orielly or Shawn Hannity wouldn't have let that happen. Our Bill would have simply just cut the microphone of THEIR Bill. Problem solved, liberal spew suspended. But Chris just let himself get steamrolled. Klinton even says several times that he was a failure and Wallace failed to run with THAT. If Wallace can't handle being intimidated by this misogynist "Cut and Runner" how can we expect him to stand up to other liberals who don't have the specter of being a convicted perjurist hanging over their heads?

Really, if you would lie to a grand jury looking into your financial dealings about cheating on your wife, you would lie about anything. That is what I would have said. But I am not Chris Wallace, and thankfully Chris Wallace is not Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, because that would make me a pussy.

Fox News, show this weak knee-ed whiner to the door.

For pleading your case America, Your Welcome. Anytime.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Sorry America, I am Beset with the Plague of CTS!

Dear America,
Please attribute my recent dirth of posts to the liberal plague of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I can not find much to indicate it from his Wikipedia entry but I am almost positive that the qwerty keyboard must have been the work of communists. But there is a certain guilt by association of its adoption by the subversive socialist fifth element that became the press beginning in the first part of the Twentieth Century. So lets look a little deeper.

Christopher Sholes, Samuel W. Soule, and Carlos Glidden patented the QWERTY keyboard. Obviously of Eastern European origin or descent, just like the Communists! When the leftists figured how much easier it would be for the liberal media of the day to churn out more liberal lies, they knew they were on to something. They sold their patent to fellow travelers, Densmore and Yost, who would later use their influence to infiltrate what amounted for a good part of our military-industrial complex of the day, the Remington Arms Company.

Tell me gentle readers, why would a bunch of typewriter makers of Eastern European descent have an interest in a rifle company? A rifle company that armed the American military for most of it's subsequent conflicts. It doesn't make sense then and it doesn't make sense now! Believe me, they had another agenda. Only now, more than a century later, is this sinister plot coming to fruition.

I suspect one of them foretold the eventual adoption of the necessity of keyboarding, probably in some sick satanic ritual, and they contrived to make it the most tedious way to input some words into a machine as possible. That is how liberals come up with most of their so called ideas.

But perhaps the worst thing about it was how it gets invented here in America and then gets bastardized by every conceivable interest group until, instead of the world having a unified tool that should have stayed in English, like science and air traffic control, it is no longer recognizable or useful for most of the world.

This was a perfect example of design by committee. The Central Committee no doubt. Thankfully, the latest generation of voice recognition software is getting better with the drawls. We won't need the socialists keyboards any more!

For exposing the Qwerty keyboard for the communist plot it was, your welcome America.

Your Humble servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Monday, September 11, 2006

Liberal Treachery

Kentucky Progress has once again exposed some liberal treachery in a wonderful post entitled "Herald Leader Hires Michael Moore".

The following is a comment on the article which I posted in the comments section of KY Progress' post:

The silly liberals even say "Yet anyone who questions or criticizes Bush's decisions is branded an appeaser of fascists" as if they were not actually appeasing fascists. Just because they say it isn't so, does not mean it isn't so.

They failed to mention how Bush's policies are creating jobs in the Defense industries which were sinking fast under the Clinton Administration. I'm suprised that they didn't bring up how every time Clinton tried to do something abut OBL, we saw it then for sex scandal diversion it was and that he didn't really care about protecting the country he was sworn to protect (as if an oath means anything to a liberal), he was just wagging the dog. Wagging it on a blue dress as it turns out, just like the devil wore in that old rock song. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Because the focus of this diversion just so happened to be the guy who actually pulled off the attacks, the ivory tower liberal historians will probably remember Clinton as the president who tried to stop OBL, not the one who actually invaded Iraq to kill him.

As to Bush making us less free, let me quote a recent letter writer to the Paducah Sun who stated the conservative viewpoint rather nicely:

“In America, if you are not doing anything wrong, you should not complain about what our government is doing to keep you safe from terrorists. You are not losing a freedom; you are more safe, and gain freedom from terrorists.”

We are not losing freedom, we are gaining freedom from terrorists. Now if only we could outlaw the Democratic party, we could gain freedom from the terrorists deriving comfort from them getting elected. Oh, that will be the day!

For exposing said Liberal Treachory, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Sunday, September 10, 2006

My Apologies

Dear America,

I just wanted to say that I am sorry, I have been neglecting you this week. It all started out with that American socialist holiday that was forced upon us, recognizing “the worker” (where have we heard that kind of talk before?), which really only breeds the deadly sin of sloth. Labor day just says to the terrorists “Hey, We are gonna have a holiday that celebrates what we are supposed to be doing every day of the too-short-already work week”. To paraphrase Hollywood degenerate Chris Rock (in LiberalSpeak) “That is what your supposed to do, you Edipusly-incestuous Democrat. What would you desire as a reward? A delectable baked shortbread, perhaps?”*

Labor day is an unfounded mandate forced upon us by Democrats, who are merely throwing a bone to their non-welfare-collecting “constituents” who lack the gumption to own their own businesses and be Republicans or save up their personal days when they want a three day weekend. No they want the government to mandate when they can get paid for doing nothing. In case you didn’t catch the earlier innuendo, any holiday celebrating “the worker” can only be Communistic in its origins.

Labor day is a holdover from before McCarthy exposed all the Communists who had infiltrated our government. These Communist infiltrators from all the way back to the Cleveland administration were the ones who first thrust this abomination upon us. It serves the same purpose as the Communist Holiday “May Day” on May First, but was changed to a date preferred by a specific secret organization to a day in September, probably to hide it’s Communistic Origins.

This organization was none other than the Knights of Labor( One look at their symbol and you can immediately notice its similarity to the Satanic Pentagram. Another clue that they were bad news is that they automatically excluded bankers, lawyers, and stockholders because they were considered “unproductive members of society”, instead of members of the “ownership society”.

If the Communist who live among us must force the burden of this so called “holiday” on the rest of us to bear, perhaps they should foot the bill for the lost worker productivity, the lack of government services, and the barbequed hot dog induced obesity that all of the “unproductive members of society” have to endure once a year for their cause. That would shut them up.

For smacking down the Communistic supporters of Labor Day, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,

Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

* Mr. Rock would probably say something like “That’s what the hell your supposed to do, m0th3rfu(ker. You want a cookie or something?” but I didn’t want to quote that to keep this blog family-friendly.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Lets Keep the IRS as a Weapon against Dissent, at Least Until a Democrat is Elected

Kentucky Progress had a little blurb about how the Fair Tax and elimination of the income tax would actually be good for us, since the IRS could no longer hold an organization's religious exemptions against them when churches want to endorse Republican candidates. It made some good points about how the elimination of charitable exemptions wouldn't hurt charities because most people do not itemize anyway. But it failed to highlight one possible nefarious outcome of this, which I will address later. First, the Liberal Smackdown.

Anonymous Liberal Coward says:
Using "Fair Tax" to officially integrate the religious fundalmentalist into the Republican Party.

Not what either Thomas Jefferson (diest)or Madison had in mind as our founding fathers.

I do not even have to smack them down myself, Mr. KY Progress is right there to do it for me (Of course, it is HIS blog):
Are you suggesting the original intent of the First Amendment was to limit it by allowing political opponents to use the IRS as a weapon? How very fascist of you!

(In case you didn't get the memo, 'Fascist' is one of our new buzzwords, and it should be used liberally against Liberals any chance we get.)

But it then occurs to me how truly dangerous this is. So I warn us:
My fear is that what you are suggesting would also unyoke the welfare promoting, gay accepting, terrorist sympathizing anti-war, "so called churches" like the Episcopalions or the Quakers.

It took me a long time to accept that liberals do not in fact burst into flames when they enter a holy house of worship. Some even participate regularly. A few are deluded into thinking that their convictions drive their liberalism.

The most blasphemous of the sickos even think Jesus was a liberal. Such a move might not be the windfall we conservatives might think it is.

If we remove our ability to "use the IRS as a weapon", what check or balance will there be when they pull out their "hate speech" gun when we point out that gay people are going to hell?

For exposing the twisted inner workings of the sick liberal mind, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Freedom from Terrorists

Dear America,
The Paducah Sun today carried a letter to the editor that said it all: "In America, if you are not doing anything wrong, you should not complain about what our government is doing to keep you safe from terrorists. You are not losing a freedom; you are more safe, and gain freedom from terrorists."

Subscribers can view it here (everyone else can just suck it, the Paxtons are true oil loving, big pharma accommodating, industrial-apologist conservatives). This is the epiphany that we are looking for to happen all across the country. There is so much we can do with sentiment like that.

If everybody who spoke badly of the current administration were just shipped off to the Middle East for rendering, it wouldn't be losing a freedom; it would be gaining freedom from terrorist sympathizers.

If the press needed to get approval from the administration in order to print something, that would not be losing a freedom, it would be gaining freedom from the terrorists getting encouragement from the liberal media.

If the Congress wanted to pass a law outlawing the religion of the Anti-Semitic Bacon Haters, it would not be losing a freedom; it would be gaining a freedom from the Johnny Jihad's that might be recruited otherwise.

If guns were outlawed, it would not be losing a freedom; it would be gaining freedom from domestic terrorists being able to arm themselves. Of course, there would be exemptions for canned quail and dove hunts. And concealed carry permits.

If warrants were no longer required to search homes, it would not be losing a freedom, it would be gaining freedom from terrorists feeling like they can feel safe lying in their beds at night.

If you aren't doing anything wrong, you have nothing to fear. Unless, of course, you are some scumbag liberal Democrat. Who knows, maybe you are one "mis-typed" address away from some "gained freedom" yourself. We've been through your mail and we know who you are, you sick degenerate liberal. Yeah, you liberal-ass punk. I'm talking about you. You know who you are.

For putting the liberals on notice, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hiatus Interuptus: The Sleeper Has Awaken!

Dear America,
I'm back. I can't say much yet. The dark stench of liberalism that was picked up at the festival coats me like the skanky sheen of hickory wood smoke and beer sweat exuding from my pores at this moment. Please forgive my short post as I must of course go bath myself.

O' the horror, the horror. If only the purifying waters of Kentucky Lake had risen up to drown this liberal abomination, but she was not up to the task. Probably down at the welfare office getting a check for it's bastard child: Lake Barkley (Named after a democrat, no less).

Oh well, there is always next year.

Sorry to have failed you America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Short Term Hiatus: Desparately Testing Hops Inoculations Against the the Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie-Woogie Flu

Dear America,
I'm am off to infiltrate a local gathering of liberals at the Kenlake Hot August Blues and Barbeque Festival. I hope to dig up some good liberal dirt and expose some liberal conspiracies down there by going deep under cover amongst them. Sadly, there is no series of internet tubes down there from which to post from, at least where I will be, deep in the heart of darkness, infiltrating the bohemian degenerates at the campground.

The bad news is that I may not be able to post for a few days, for reasons weakly comparable to how some elite shootists have to take laxatives and enimas to clear their bowels before going on a mission, this will be my last post until I recover from the hops-induced fog of liberalism I might be called on to overcome this weekend. I hope that won't leave you a'mad-jonesing for the primo hit that is the Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire. Wish me luck.

Anyway, Blues Music is a particularly blasphemous and Big-Labor-promoting kind of music. That might make it the most dangerous form of music known to man. It pretends to reinforce the wages of sin, but it uses the explicit rhythms of depraved sexuality to do so. Bill Clinton played blues on his saxophone. Need I say more?

If I do, it would be that a saxophone is just a little too creepily-phallic for me to be comfortable with watching another man play. His lips up against the the hard reed, slightly softened from the warm rain of his own spit, recieving the luxurious ministrations of his mouth, building up ever faster in tempo until the final "resolution". It is for these reasons that I am almost positive that saxophones are part of some gay or European agenda to destroy our families, no doubt about it. It is almost like it is just calling out "Choose to be Gay! Choose to be Gay!".

In previous years, I have merely spied on the liberals from my yacht out in the Kenlake bay overlooking the amphitheater, with a lot of my fellow Republican Patriots, just to make sure nobody starts singing 'Helter Skelter', or Mick Jagger music and signaling the start of the rioting and looting. Though usually a little tainted by the end of the weekend for my vigilance, I took comfort in that at least I did not have to actually pay money for tickets that would support whatever vices gave those musicians 'The Blues' in the first place.

If blues musicians everywhere would allow me to give them just one single piece of advice it would be these three words: "Stop dating whores." Just Say No. Just by following that one simple rule, 50% of 'The Blues' is exterminated from the earth in ways Rachel Carson couldn't even dream of. But even when the liberals get such advise for free like they like it, and from some of the wisest people on earth, chances are they will still reject it. Pearls before swine and all that.

But at the Hot August Blues Festival, the dryness of the county works to the conservative advantage. Sometimes the musicians are cognigent enough (at least early in the set) to recognize us in the boats for our principled stand, and in that moment of clarity will acknowledge others like me out in the bay. It is almost like whatever good there is left within them is calling out from the dim haze of whiskey, smack, or the killer Michoacan, like the sprite of Hope, whose wing was trapped in Pandora's box when she slammed the lid shut after unleashing all the Evils upon the world. They will say something to the effect of "Hey Everybody out there on the water".

This never seems to go unnoticed by one particularly obnoxious, and obviously inebriated liberal who always at this time seems to yell out "Screw the boat people, they didn't buy any Gosh-Danged tickets!" (edited for family consumption).

However, this year I will be going undercover into the unwashed, sweaty, filthy, secular-music loving, hedonistic hive of liberalism that is the Kenlake Hot August Blues and Barbeque Festival, and I mean deep undercover. I might even 'pretend' to "join in the love train, everybody round the world, join in.." (which is obviously some liberal-clued UN indoctrination anthem). That is, should one of the degenerate liberal performers bust out in that song. And I will be looking for him. Oh yes, I will be looking.

So if you go, be you a liberal hedonist or a backsliding conservative, know that someone is watching, and the stink of sun-bleached liberalism will follow you long after the Marshall stacks have been unplugged and the Corcidan bottles stored in their cases. That is how it should be.

America, I don't care what you can do for me, but I am happy to do this for you. As always, you are welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Evilutionists are Wrong Again, "Hobbits" are Really Just Pygmies

Dear America,
Part I|Part II

Evilutionists are proved wrong once again. The absence of hairy feet should have clued them in. How much more will they have to be proved wrong about before Darwin becomes a footnote in scientific history like the alchemists and astrologists of yore. Much to the chagrin of liberals everywhere, I am going to expose Evilution as the widespread secular fundamentalist conspiracy that it is.

Frist, they got the Marxist college professors to sign on. Second, they indoctrinated the socialist teacher unions and educrats. Third, the educrats instituted the requirement of more and more liberal indoctrination and soon almost every non-private school teacher was subjugated. Then they turned their attention to the kids. Frist step for the students was to keep them from praying, which left them wide open for the spiritual assault of the godless secular cognitive dissonance that passes for public education these days. Remove all competitive inclinations to succeed, like grades, and replace it with a lot of feel-good, politically correct, brain-mushing, "Johnny Has Two Daddies" gobbledy-gook.

This is what has come to pass. The next phase, yet to be, will be the UN mandated outlawing of religion, and not just the false ones such as the one the Hollywood liberal disciples of a certain Science-Fiction-Writer-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named follow, or the one the polygamists follow. Or Episcopalians. And that other "religion of peace" religion that has got me too scared to even name for fear of being mistaken for a Van Gogh or worse, one of their own raped sisters or daughters. Lets just call them the Anti-Semitic Bacon Haters (to distinguish them from the Original Bacon Haters).

Anyway, then they come for our guns and once we are defenseless they impose a world government with the black helicopters. Everybody then has to get to get a barcode on their forehead or one of those microchips implanted that they are trying out on dogs and cats these days. [Their] Mission Accomplished.

Then it's game over, man. Game over. Unless your one of the lucky 143, 999. You know who you are. ;-)

Part I|Part II

Also along the lines of Evilution, the Wall Street Journal gave me the best news all week. Liberals aren't breeding. My guess is that the STDs that they catch in their deviant sex orgies has rendered a lot of them sterile. Of course the homosexuals can't breed. Many Liberals are on the run from the law for drug or sex offences or nonpayment of child support (a.k.a. the bastard tax) and can't set down roots long enough to have a family. That is if they were one of the few liberals not too selfish to stop thinking about only themselves. Face it, childbirth just doesn't fit into the "if it feels good, just do it" philosophy that liberals live by.

This is a good thing because as time progresses the genes of liberalism will be distilled into a smaller and smaller gene pool that will get more and more isolated over time. This will reinforce whatever mutations caused them to be born liberal and they will get ever increasingly pro-Abortion and family hating until one day they are no longer even recognizable as a human being any more. The accumulation of liberal genes will reach a point when they will no longer be able to even breed successfully with regular humans, but only with other degenerate liberals. We will see them then merely as another type of animal. Hopefully, there will be open season, just like most other varmits. Just Kidding (In that Ann Coulter kind of way).

For exposing Evilution for the Cold War Communistic LEFT-OVER that it is, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Monday, August 21, 2006

Karl Rove: Crazy as a Mad Hatter, or Crazy like a FOX (viewer)

Dear America,
Sometimes, I must admit, that I occasionally momentarily fall into the liberal trap of questioning the wisdom of our president. One such issue bugging me lately has been the retention of Karl Rove in the Whitehouse staff. Today I thought this when I read about Mr. Roves erratic behavior at a Republican fund raiser.

Frist, there is the location, Austin Texas. This is not only one of the biggest liberal snake dens in Texas, but the nation as well. In fact, it was in large part to Austin's liberalacity that "the Hammmer" Tom Delay saw fit to split it up seven ways to drive a righteous Republican stake through the parasitic liberal vampire of Texas that is Austin. Austin is actually number 3 on the list of American cities that Bill Orielly says is OK for terrorists to attack, after San Francisco and Berkley California. (Las Vegas would be number 3, but Bill likes the slots and whores too much, and who doesn't?). So the question remains: Why would Karl Rove go to Austin, to raise money for us? It's almost as kooky as going to the desert to fish.

Second, there is the way he conducted himself, as if he might be losing his mind. When crazy islamofaschist sympathizers try their hand at preemptive invasion and stormed into the event only to be arrested, Crazy Karl asked the GOP group's executive director, Pat Robbins "Pat, did you get her check before she left?" I'm not making this up. I only wished I was.

He then goes on to say "I don't question the patriotism of our critics." What??? Our assistant Commander in Chief recently announced that Lamont's primary win was a victory for "Al-Qaeda types", and Rove pulls the rug out from under him and says he doesn't question the Democrat's patriotism? Is this the same guy who once said "liberals saw the savagery of the 9-11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers" (no doubt through some socialized-medicine health plan)? If they are not with us, they are against us THEN, and if they are not with us, they are against us NOW.

Crazy Karl continued with a statement that shows that he may be softening on his social conservative hard line. "Many of [ THE islaMofaschist sympathizers] are hardworking public servants who are doing the best they can. Some of [ THE islaMofaschist sympathizers] are people looking for a free meal." It's almost like he wants to set up a soup kitchen for liberals or something, but actually what is more damaging was that he called a $250 dinner a "free meal." This just gives the class-warfare-invoking liberals ammunition. Sure, I, like Mr. Rove, think a $250 meal is "practically free," and the RNC might have even comped HIS dinner, but there are pods* out there whom we still allow to vote that don't make that in a week and you can't always count on THEM hating abortionists and terrorists (am I being redundant?) enough to ALWAYS pull the (R) lever like we want them to.

Finally, I don't know why Karl Rove does not show his support for Marriage and Family by getting married and having kids. The stinky sin of deliberate childless-ness hangs around his neck like a long dead, maggot infested, family-hating albatross. Mr. President, if you are reading this, as I am sure you or the NSA sometimes do, please for the sake of conservatism, consider giving crazy Karl Rove the Colin Powell treatment out the door. I also don't think he exercises like he should.

For smacking down a simple tool that has outlasted it's usefulness, Your Welcome America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

* Pods, of course, are the inhuman creatures who work for what the liberals call a non-"living wage," the same non-"living wage" that they try to force down our throats as an unfunded Federal Mandate in the form of the "Minimum Wage".

Friday, August 18, 2006

Liberal Limbo II

Dear America,
More on C-J's weak moment of fair and balancedness. Children please leave the room. Some sick vicious liberal is attacking a dead man like some brain eating zombie:
Reaganomics 'shame'

I read with interest the "Liberals' responsibility" letter regarding homelessness. Its bent is very distorted.

The Great Society did not result in homelessness in America. As usual, conservatives have their heads in the sand about their role in creating America's shame, homelessness.

Reaganomics and, more specifically, the Gramm-Rudman Act were the architects. The HUD budget was cut by 75 percent, gutting public housing and practically eliminating Section 8 ( we are still not back to the levels lost), and community services block grants and work programs suffered major cuts.
... [Some Liberal Insanity Removed]

Barbara Icohahi

How low will they go indeed. If Reagan was so bad, why would we name the nation's flagship airport after him.

Another liberal smacked down, and your welcome America. Sweet dreams and Good night, and don't you let the liberals bite.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Great Society My A$$

Dear America,
The Courier Journal is like a bunch of liberal snakes unleashed upon a host of unwitting passengers that are the citizens of the plane that is our great Commonweath. Surprisingly though, they let a few gems of conservative wisdom through. Take for instance the Letter to the Editor that brave conservative patriot Robert sent them:

Liberals' responsibility

Why are we worried about the plight of single mothers? Your "Great Society" liberal Democratic president, Lyndon B. Johnson, gave all the young girls a welfare check when they had a baby and increased it with every baby.

Looks like the crisis was created by the liberal Democrats, but, surely, they couldn't have been wrong.

Robert ...
Liberty, KY


Preach it Brother Robert. Preach it. However, it was not long before the fountain of Liberal vile spews forth and some anonymous liberal coward post in the Story Chat section:

I guess we are worried about the plight of single mothers because of the absence of 'stand up men' who won't take responsibility for what they helped create. [Some liberal insanity removed] Maybe we can all rally together and start locating some of those deadbeat non-custodial parents on the list published Sunday in the C-J (just do a search for 'child support on the C-J, you can get the list there). If we can get some of them to step up, we can eliminate those pesky welfare payments!!!! Do your part, Mr .... start searching those last known addresses and try to collect the money on behalf of those children... then you won't have to worry so much about where your tax money is going!!!!


My fellow conservatives, and faithful readers, I have a confession to make, one that I am not proud of. When I was younger, there was a dark time of youthful indescretion in my personal life where I was sequestered at one of the ivory tower, liberal elitist indoctrination centers that David Horowitz describes in one of his latest exposés. I am ok now and it is something I try not to think of but it does qualify me to interpret liberal~speak. This is the profanity-censored analysis of what this one is really saying:

Frist, of course, there are the run-on sentences and the mispellings but it goes downhill from there. Next, there is the excusing of the harlotry, then there is blaming the victims whose only crime was to have testicles and "partaking" in the "milk" said harlots were giving away for free, followed by the call to vigilantee-ism, and finally repeating the liberal mantra of "don't ask questions about what we do with YOUR money after we take it from you," which is an idea born from the abominable and unnatural marriage of Feminazi-ism and Anarchy, and THIS is it's bastard child.

I am sorry for these women only in that they were probably not exposed to a decent faith based Abstinence Only class when they were in school.

But I was encouraged in that the CJ had actually had the California-Prefixed, Keeping-Up-with-Wannabees** to print such a choice conservative nugget of wisdom in the first place. Then I realized that, it being an election year, the liberal overlords in charge down there must have been out at some Democratic fundraiser helping the terrorists aquire domestic targets or promoting the gay agenda in our public schools.

For allowing me the chance to redeem the languistic centers of my brain that cannot be safely labotomized of liberal~speak, tonight America, I Thank You.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

*No, A_____ This Is Not Me, I Swear
** California-Prefixed, Keeping-Up-with-Wannabees = CA-JONES [remove slash] (to keep this blog family-friendly I didn't want to explicitly use the Mexinvader word for testicles).

Old Gray Lady or Whore of Liberal Babylon?

Dear America,
Will Murphy has created a wonderful flash animation tool that exposes the New York Times as the filthy liberal rag that it is.

Link Note: You need to hover over the individual articles to see what their hidden meaning is.

Will Murphy - America Thanks You as I'm sure it is thanking me for providing this link. Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Higher MPG = Party of Death Conspiracy

Dear America,
A lot of folks are out there pontificating about a Democrat in the Whitehouse in 2008. Sometimes, it doesn't fill me with as much fear and trepidation as it does at others. It is at these times when I am looking back with nostalgia to the 90's when at certain times cooler conservative heads prevailed. One of these times was with the push for higher CAFE standards that would raise the mile per gallon requirements for the cars and trucks made here in the US.

Back then we conservatives saw this for the intrusive burden of Federal regulation that it is. We also saw it as an outgrowth of the Culture of Death that pervades the Democratic Party. Back then we conservatives knew that higher gas mileage came at the cost of less steal, less steal came at the cost less safety, less safety came at the cost of more death. The only way to make cars have higher MPG is to make them less safe! No wonder the Democrats were suggesting we raise CAFE standards. Therefore it followed, we conservatives should oppose it so as not to be a part of this blood sacrifice the Democrats wanted to make to whatever sick god they worship.

But it seems some folks have forgotten about that. Now certain fair weather conservatives are changing their minds. Now that gas is actually expensive, they think it's a good idea. They line up like sheep to sign on to this Faustian bargain.

It was a bad idea when Bill Clinton thought about it and it's a bad idea now. It almost saddens me to see that some inside the Whitehouse may have bought into this liberal poison. Before you know it, they might start trying to stop 'global warming'.


Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

*Yet Another Liberal Myth Exposed.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Limbo: Just How Low Can the Liberals Go

Dear America,
My local paper, the Murray Ledger, has a message board on its online site. Murray is a very conservative community and there are always a lot of patriots on there. One such patriot is Joe. Joe likes to post a lot and really sticks it to the liberals. One of his recent post is this:

The biggest reason this country is in bad shape is not the republicans, it's the terrorist around the world. I know there is no way to change a liberal's mind but that's the fact. I agree we are in trouble but how would a democrat handled it any differently. You probably say we shouldn't have went to Iraq, well a lot of young folks don't feel that way. If they did , they wouldn't be joining the military every day knowing that's where they are going. I think they are very patriotic. What would you call them, idiots for joining. The liberals think that way, just let the terrorist come and do anything to us that they want, we will just stand there and say go ahead, fly airplanes into our buildings and bridges, we won't do anything. Well the republicans responded and I back them at all cost for trying to protect the people.


For simply stating the obvious he is attacked by some vulturous liberal:
Joe, just exactly who are these liberals who want to "just let the terrorist come and do anything to us that they want." I don't even think Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Howard Dean, Micheal Moore, Jesse Jackson, Jane Fonda or George Soros want THAT. They might want to "promote the gay agenda" and "take our guns" but they don't want THAT.

So who are you talking about? People who hold onto the hope that there is always a better solution than the slaughter of our fellow man, whether it be "justified" or not? People who really do think and pray about the issue and are led to question our reasons for going to war with Iraq? People who think that the blood of the patriots defending this nation should not be spent "liberally"? Those who think the responsible duty of a good citizen is to actually question and reasonably debate the merits of the decisions our democratically elected leaders make? Notice that I did not say anything about Afganistan, where the actual mastermind of the 9-11 attacks was actually hiding out, and whom we still have not found and brought to justice.

Has patriotism and loving our country really been reduced to what seems to be "chearleading for the home team", right or wrong? Perhaps your idea of civic responsibility does not match mine. But I sure don't think you hate America and love terrorists because you don't agree with me. I really wish you'd do the same.

Tag: BTI

America, this is the type of ignorance and arrogance we are up against. We present the facts and liberals distort some abstract concept of freedom as some weak emotional rebuttal to logic. I almost pity them in their ignorance, but refrain from said pity, aware that one day I might be called upon to b!?@#-slap them for their stupid silliness.

And if that time should come, pre-emptively, Your Welcome America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

*NATINMIS = No, A______. This Is Not Me, I Swear. :-)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Is Al Gore Actually a Closet Conservative?

Dear America,
I was reading Hoover Institute fellow Peter Schweizer's article in the USA Today today and I came to a startling conclusion. Al Gore is possibly a closet conservative. I know what your thinking: "Now that's just kooky talk," but hear me out. Mr. Schweizer is the author of such scholarly tomes as Do As I Say (Not As I Do): Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy. Anytime I see 'Liberal Hypocrisy' in the title, I know that I am in for a good read.

In the article, Schweizer outlines several things which he seems to think indicate examples of the aforementioned Liberal Hypocracy. But in the same actions that Schweizer list, I am starting suspect the actions of a cold blooded, conservative capitalist when you look at the things he points out. Take for example:
  • He flys around on a private jet.
  • He got someone else to pay for his pollution.
  • He owns multiple homes, one in excess of 10000 square feet.
  • Instead of actually doing something about energy concerns at home, he has a spokesman say they are "looking into it".
  • He chooses to put the bottom line before the environment.
  • He owns a buttload of oil company stocks. (I wish I did too, I sincerly regret not buying oil and Haliburton stock the moment our Commander in Chief took the Oath of Office.)
  • He gets money from a Zinc mine. Zinc. Talk about primo commodities.
  • He is the child of an entrenched political entity.
It was after reading this laundry list of accusations that I had an epiphiny. OMG, if you put it that way, he sounds just like George W. Bush!

I am starting to suspect Al Gore is merely promoting this apocalyptic fantasy of a movie as a way of driving up the value of his petroleum stock. But best of all he puts himself out there as a patsy for conservative pundits to hang the hat of hypocrisy on. He can play the martyr, while still profiting from things like subsidy money the government is giving oil companies. What a brilliant, Machievellian move, Mr. Gore.

Now that I have exposed you as the "capitalist dog" you are Mr. Gore, let me be the first to welcome you to the conservative cause. You might have only payed lip service to shrinking government when you were in office, but now you can safely come out of the "conservative closet." It now even makes sense why Ann Coulter called you "a total fag," because like most homophobes, she felt an unnatural attraction to you that she could not explain. It was because even she could sense, even if she could not articulate, that deep down you are one of us, if only in the sense of that way that cyborgs can ever really "belong".

Al, from this day forward, please strive to thine own self be true. Make sure that Zinc mine can continue to send you royalties in a business environment not saddled with the horrible yoke of government regulation. Help make sure your children can inherit your enourmous fortune. Help ensure that the oil company stock that you own can appreciate at a rate greater than inflation by leveling the playing field that they compete on against the environazis and regulationistas that thwart their every turn. Help ensure that you should only be beholden to the government of this nation a proportion of your income that is equal to all, be they fry cook or CEO or social worker or lawyer or teacher or banker.

Just come out as the conservative you know you are. Look deep into your heart and you will see a conservative staring back at you. You might as well. You are exposed Al Gore. Now reject the indoctrination of the ivory tower liberal elites and become the product of privelage and wealth that you are and admit it.

Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

John McCain: A Liability to the Conservative Movement?

Dear America,
Fellow conservative blogger KY Progress posted this blurb about John McCain appearing at Reception to benefit Kentucky Republican Senate Trust:
"Senator John McCain (R-AZ) will speak at a fundraiser for the KY Senate Republican Trust on Monday September 25, 2006."

This got me thinking about John McCain in general.

I fear how John McCain could possibly hurt the conservative movement. The problem is that he, and soon his own son, has served in the military. Liberals hate everyone who served in the military and have been known to form vicious PACs to defame the military records of those that have served and stand in their way. They say "He's the reason they invented fragging" and other such hateful things. I fear it is only a matter of time before they come after him, maybe even with Jane Fonda herself.

Of course there are so many other conservative war heros representing us in Washington, hopefully the liberals will take a while before they get to him.

Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~Esquire

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Setting Fellow Conservatives Straight on Gambling

Dear America,
My conservative conpatriot at KY Progress has bought into liberal delusions about the evils of the Casino Industry. Tonight I attempt to set him straight.

The issue at hand starts with a story about a slot machine on some sordid riverboat casino. Apparently it was stuck in payout mode and several miscreants recieved an illigitimate payout, which cost Caesar's almost a half a million dollars.

Apparently Mr. KY Progress believes depriving shareholders their rightful dividends is OK. He says:

"Best letter to the editor of the day from Conrad Reynolds of Louisville. Followed by some BBB drone suggesting that those stealing from casinos should obey the 8th commandment.

I thought that was funny."

Some chicken-&#!@ anonymous liberal spews forth:
Anonymous said...

So do you equate running a gambling establishment with being a thief? Is that why you thought it was funny?

7:34 PM

Kentucky Progress said...

Yeah, close enough. Casinos are fine entertainment for people with money to burn, I guess. But the main function of a casino is to prey on people who think they might win when the odds are actually stacked hopelessly against them. For people who operate like that to be surprised when they are taken advantage of themselves is surprising. I find that funny.

7:54 PM

At which time, I cannot let this liberal's libelous invective preclude me from reminding him what true conservative values are all about. So I post:
You liberals won't be happy until you become everyone's nanny! Here on the western end of the Kentucky, the Socialist Blagojevich taxes our casinos at a rate higher than any in the nation. When the casinos needed permits to provide those that wanted to work with good construction jobs building hotels, the Socialist Blagojevich stalled the process with beauracratic red tape, taking months to fill key positions on the gaming board. Which like a good Democrat, he filled with partisans, but THEIR attorney general is fine with that!

Casinos provide a product, just like Kentucky's tobacco farmers, that may be dangerous if used in excess, but should be available to all that love liberty. If I choose to bet my hard earned money on the outcome of some random process which I know is less than 50% how is that any different than investing on some new businesses that statistically will fail at a rate of 80%? I have not seen you rail against the evils of investing in new businesses. Remember, when gambling is outlawed only the outlaws will have gambling.

Most important of all, casinos don't hire drug addicts, even the executives pee into cups, they don't hire ex-criminals, they don't hire illegal immigrants, and they don't hire pods*. They never ask for government bailouts like the pension-burdened airline or auto industry. They suffer from a yoke of government regulation far greater than what Ronald Reagan deemed necessary for the Savings and Loan industry, which was in charge of people's savings for goodness sake. Casinos are merely collectors of what Dave Ramsey call's the "stupid tax" except the stupid tax that casinos collect actually goes into the public coffers where it can be doled out to our profitable corporate citizens that are in need of subsidies. Everybody wins.

Your welcome America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

*pods, of course, are the inhuman creatures who work for the non-"living wage," currently making $5.15 an hour, for whatever service that is so useless as to be worth only $5.15/hr.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Minimum Wage Smackdown

Dear America,
I was first inspired to start this blog upon having to explain to some poor liberal why raising the minimum wage would give comfort to the terrorists. This all transpired upon the comments of the fellow conservative blog KY Progress (Link) where a cowardly anonymous blogger asks:
Where has it be shown that inflation has gone significantly after a raise in the minimum wage?

To which I freely gave this sage lesson in economics:
If the pods, who's only ambition is to work for $5.15, recieve more money, when they go and spend it on cheap booze, it causes an increase in the demand for cheap booze. This causes the price of cheap booze to go up. Same thing with food. Or the pods will spend it on drugs and the subsequent crime causes higher costs to society in general, through policing, incarceration, and insurance costs.

As KY Progress says a min-wage increase will benefit noone, not even the pods who get these ridiculous raises.

In the end, we all end up paying more because some liberal politicians want to threw their unambitious constituents a bone. Little do they realize that pods don't even have the ambition to vote.

Our politicians seem to have forgotten who they work for. They need to remember just exactly who it is that's buying the $500 plates at the fundraising luncheons they like to have. They need to remember who is sending them those campain contributions. It sure as heck ain't anybody on minimum wage.

Now, On a completely, absolutely, positively unrelated subject, we need to do something about all those illegal immigrants.

Of course, there was the dysfunctional liberal troll who just doesn't get it:
Who are the "pods"?

Talk about clueless. So I explained:
Since the liberals say that $5.15 is not a living wage, those working for it must not be human. I therefore refer to them as "pods" and hold them in nothing but contempt for their lack of ambition and their drain on society.

If they deserved more money they would get it if they asked for it, or find another employer who would pay what they deserve. But instead they run to their liberal legislators and pay their liberal minimum wage lobbyists to draft this feel-good PC legislation to force employers to pay them more.

While I normally am against tax increases, I say if this passes we should hit its recipients hard with a $2 an hour tax hike to pay for those social services that they use at a much higher rate than the rest of the taxpayers. Alternatively, we could use this hike to fund subsidies for corporations who have proved themselves to be profitable, such as the subsidies that Exxon and other oil companies recieved last year.

Unfortunately, since the pods pay so little in taxes in the first place it will hardly make a dent.

Another cowardly poster states the obvious:
So America's poor are "pods"?

At which time the site's curator noblely comes to my defense:
"Most of the nation's poor make $8-$15/hour. They are neither "pods" nor minimum wage earners. The point about many who would make more money if they only worked harder is valid, if not very politically correct.

A lot of the teenagers who make minimum wage are overpaid at that."

At this point, another cowardly anonymous liberal chimes in with his intellectual chum:
So, in an ideal society Kentucky Progress believes no right thinking adult should work at Wal-Mart. Therefore, making those jobs available to teenagers with spending cash, immigrants and retirees with time on their hands.

At which time I deliver the intellectual coupe de gras (PLEASE forgive my french):
Wrong again liberal. The CEO of Wal-Mart actually want's the minimum wage increased. They generally pay better than minimum wage so that they can suck the better skilled and more ambitious pods off of their competition.

By getting the minimum wage up to what they are generally paying already, they are not hurt one bit. Their pod employing competitors however are then at a disadvantage and will suffer while Walmart continues to prosper in what is basically the same business environment for them.

Just like bootleggers lining up with preachers whenever a wet/dry vote comes around, some big businesses actually get behind the min-wage increase.

Smart businessman like those running Wal-Mart know this is going to happen every 10 or 20 years and take steps to make it an advantage. Bad businessman, instead of working it into their profit margins like fire or flood insurance, just scream about how many pods they will have to fire or won't be able to hire.

At which time the liberal din was squashed.

Your welcome America.

Your humble servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire