Monday, August 07, 2006

Minimum Wage Smackdown

Dear America,
I was first inspired to start this blog upon having to explain to some poor liberal why raising the minimum wage would give comfort to the terrorists. This all transpired upon the comments of the fellow conservative blog KY Progress (Link) where a cowardly anonymous blogger asks:
Where has it be shown that inflation has gone significantly after a raise in the minimum wage?

To which I freely gave this sage lesson in economics:
If the pods, who's only ambition is to work for $5.15, recieve more money, when they go and spend it on cheap booze, it causes an increase in the demand for cheap booze. This causes the price of cheap booze to go up. Same thing with food. Or the pods will spend it on drugs and the subsequent crime causes higher costs to society in general, through policing, incarceration, and insurance costs.

As KY Progress says a min-wage increase will benefit noone, not even the pods who get these ridiculous raises.

In the end, we all end up paying more because some liberal politicians want to threw their unambitious constituents a bone. Little do they realize that pods don't even have the ambition to vote.

Our politicians seem to have forgotten who they work for. They need to remember just exactly who it is that's buying the $500 plates at the fundraising luncheons they like to have. They need to remember who is sending them those campain contributions. It sure as heck ain't anybody on minimum wage.

Now, On a completely, absolutely, positively unrelated subject, we need to do something about all those illegal immigrants.

Of course, there was the dysfunctional liberal troll who just doesn't get it:
Who are the "pods"?

Talk about clueless. So I explained:
Since the liberals say that $5.15 is not a living wage, those working for it must not be human. I therefore refer to them as "pods" and hold them in nothing but contempt for their lack of ambition and their drain on society.

If they deserved more money they would get it if they asked for it, or find another employer who would pay what they deserve. But instead they run to their liberal legislators and pay their liberal minimum wage lobbyists to draft this feel-good PC legislation to force employers to pay them more.

While I normally am against tax increases, I say if this passes we should hit its recipients hard with a $2 an hour tax hike to pay for those social services that they use at a much higher rate than the rest of the taxpayers. Alternatively, we could use this hike to fund subsidies for corporations who have proved themselves to be profitable, such as the subsidies that Exxon and other oil companies recieved last year.

Unfortunately, since the pods pay so little in taxes in the first place it will hardly make a dent.

Another cowardly poster states the obvious:
So America's poor are "pods"?

At which time the site's curator noblely comes to my defense:
"Most of the nation's poor make $8-$15/hour. They are neither "pods" nor minimum wage earners. The point about many who would make more money if they only worked harder is valid, if not very politically correct.

A lot of the teenagers who make minimum wage are overpaid at that."

At this point, another cowardly anonymous liberal chimes in with his intellectual chum:
So, in an ideal society Kentucky Progress believes no right thinking adult should work at Wal-Mart. Therefore, making those jobs available to teenagers with spending cash, immigrants and retirees with time on their hands.

At which time I deliver the intellectual coupe de gras (PLEASE forgive my french):
Wrong again liberal. The CEO of Wal-Mart actually want's the minimum wage increased. They generally pay better than minimum wage so that they can suck the better skilled and more ambitious pods off of their competition.

By getting the minimum wage up to what they are generally paying already, they are not hurt one bit. Their pod employing competitors however are then at a disadvantage and will suffer while Walmart continues to prosper in what is basically the same business environment for them.

Just like bootleggers lining up with preachers whenever a wet/dry vote comes around, some big businesses actually get behind the min-wage increase.

Smart businessman like those running Wal-Mart know this is going to happen every 10 or 20 years and take steps to make it an advantage. Bad businessman, instead of working it into their profit margins like fire or flood insurance, just scream about how many pods they will have to fire or won't be able to hire.

At which time the liberal din was squashed.

Your welcome America.

Your humble servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

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