Monday, August 21, 2006

Karl Rove: Crazy as a Mad Hatter, or Crazy like a FOX (viewer)

Dear America,
Sometimes, I must admit, that I occasionally momentarily fall into the liberal trap of questioning the wisdom of our president. One such issue bugging me lately has been the retention of Karl Rove in the Whitehouse staff. Today I thought this when I read about Mr. Roves erratic behavior at a Republican fund raiser.

Frist, there is the location, Austin Texas. This is not only one of the biggest liberal snake dens in Texas, but the nation as well. In fact, it was in large part to Austin's liberalacity that "the Hammmer" Tom Delay saw fit to split it up seven ways to drive a righteous Republican stake through the parasitic liberal vampire of Texas that is Austin. Austin is actually number 3 on the list of American cities that Bill Orielly says is OK for terrorists to attack, after San Francisco and Berkley California. (Las Vegas would be number 3, but Bill likes the slots and whores too much, and who doesn't?). So the question remains: Why would Karl Rove go to Austin, to raise money for us? It's almost as kooky as going to the desert to fish.

Second, there is the way he conducted himself, as if he might be losing his mind. When crazy islamofaschist sympathizers try their hand at preemptive invasion and stormed into the event only to be arrested, Crazy Karl asked the GOP group's executive director, Pat Robbins "Pat, did you get her check before she left?" I'm not making this up. I only wished I was.

He then goes on to say "I don't question the patriotism of our critics." What??? Our assistant Commander in Chief recently announced that Lamont's primary win was a victory for "Al-Qaeda types", and Rove pulls the rug out from under him and says he doesn't question the Democrat's patriotism? Is this the same guy who once said "liberals saw the savagery of the 9-11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers" (no doubt through some socialized-medicine health plan)? If they are not with us, they are against us THEN, and if they are not with us, they are against us NOW.

Crazy Karl continued with a statement that shows that he may be softening on his social conservative hard line. "Many of [ THE islaMofaschist sympathizers] are hardworking public servants who are doing the best they can. Some of [ THE islaMofaschist sympathizers] are people looking for a free meal." It's almost like he wants to set up a soup kitchen for liberals or something, but actually what is more damaging was that he called a $250 dinner a "free meal." This just gives the class-warfare-invoking liberals ammunition. Sure, I, like Mr. Rove, think a $250 meal is "practically free," and the RNC might have even comped HIS dinner, but there are pods* out there whom we still allow to vote that don't make that in a week and you can't always count on THEM hating abortionists and terrorists (am I being redundant?) enough to ALWAYS pull the (R) lever like we want them to.

Finally, I don't know why Karl Rove does not show his support for Marriage and Family by getting married and having kids. The stinky sin of deliberate childless-ness hangs around his neck like a long dead, maggot infested, family-hating albatross. Mr. President, if you are reading this, as I am sure you or the NSA sometimes do, please for the sake of conservatism, consider giving crazy Karl Rove the Colin Powell treatment out the door. I also don't think he exercises like he should.

For smacking down a simple tool that has outlasted it's usefulness, Your Welcome America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

* Pods, of course, are the inhuman creatures who work for what the liberals call a non-"living wage," the same non-"living wage" that they try to force down our throats as an unfunded Federal Mandate in the form of the "Minimum Wage".


The Baptist said...

As a faithful member of the GOP I know I would vote to screw the Constitution to retain George W. Bush indefinitely. Democrats on this blog may object to this but you know that a royal family would be a good thing for our fledgling empire. You have had one for years. What do you think the Kennedy family is? We can do this fairly. Kennedy can be made Duke of Mass. his son can be the Earl of Rhode Island. Jeb can be moved back to the family stronghold and made the King of Texas with good old Tom Delay as a duke of the northern part of Texas that we call Oklahoma. George can be named George I, Emperor of the United States. We can even give Bill Clinton a Duchy in Arkansas and let his wife be the Countess of NYC.

Think of the progress we can make if we just eliminated this whole flawed democracy concept. Wars would be a lot simpler if we didn’t have to convince the public that they are necessary first. It takes time and money that could be better spent just conquering the countries we are going to take anyway.

Take Canada, for instance:

We're going to annex Canada whenever we get around to it. Those Quebec terrorists are almost certainly threatening us with their weapons of mass destruction and I have heard there is a lot of un-harvested timber there that needs to be chopped down. Besides, the Canadians allow prostitution and that is just plainly immoral outside of Las Vegas and Rush Limbaugh speaking engagements in Costa Rica. Good decent Canadians want us to invade and will welcome the freedom we offer with open arms and bouquets of flowers. Only this time, the bouquets and flowers won't be lined with grenades. We will crush their evil rulers who force communist concepts like free medical treatment down their poor, helpless citizen’s throats and replace all of that worthless fresh air with the honest smog of progress. Fear not Canada we will free you just as soon as we can get a big enough army to “liberate” you and Iran.

If we want to protect the monarchy, I mean, our "democracy" the first thing we need to do is get rid of all this voting. Liberals should definitely be denied a vote and since they are easy to identify by their failure to support Our beloved and "Chosen by God" President, George W. Bush, the best way to protect democracy is to simply say that only votes for Bush or his chosen disciples can count.
In fact since we already know that those qualified to vote will vote for "Chosen" GOP candidates we can probably save a lot of time and effort by just eliminating voting altogether. In this way, we will protect "democracy."

I know most republicans stand behind me in support when I say put the Constitution in a museum as the curiosity that it is and just go royal. If you have paid attention we already did this years ago, now we can just make it official. And when liberal peasants get uppity we can kill them because laws don't have to apply to god's chosen rulers. We all know that god has Chosen George W. Bush as the leader of his chosen people and when god makes you a leader you're called Royalty.

Rob. R. Baron said...

Interesting take on our country's future empirilistic endeavors, Mr. The Babtist. But I must politely disagree. Monarchy is SO 13th century, and you seem to have forgotten that the tax and spend excesses of Liberalism began with with the absolutely-enpowered, sexually-devient, inbred monarchs of the French and British Royal courts. Bring back the monarchy and we might have to fight to get the Magna Carte passed again. (Note to my Liberal readers, Magna Carte is not one of those big boxes of wine you buy every Friday night, look it up).

No, we must look to the future, and that future is oligarchy, where the elites in control are democratically chosen by the use of the only metric that really matters: the size of your total net worth (at least what is not sheltered overseas).

Of course, the oligarchy would still need some means of protecting the sanctity of their membership, like a blackball, to keep out the undesirables, such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet who are giving away their money to people who haven't earned it.

I don't know how it happens, but somehow, someway, a few liberals seem to overcome their sloth and vice and degenerate sexual depravity long enough to actually amass some big piles of cash and not only by making the morally corrupt, pseudo-pornagraphy that comes of Hollywood.

It just goes to show they must have the devil himself on their side.

For setting a misguided-fellow conservative straight, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant.
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire