Monday, August 28, 2006

Hiatus Interuptus: The Sleeper Has Awaken!

Dear America,
I'm back. I can't say much yet. The dark stench of liberalism that was picked up at the festival coats me like the skanky sheen of hickory wood smoke and beer sweat exuding from my pores at this moment. Please forgive my short post as I must of course go bath myself.

O' the horror, the horror. If only the purifying waters of Kentucky Lake had risen up to drown this liberal abomination, but she was not up to the task. Probably down at the welfare office getting a check for it's bastard child: Lake Barkley (Named after a democrat, no less).

Oh well, there is always next year.

Sorry to have failed you America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

7 comments:

grimsaburger said...

Harumph. And what is blues anyway, except for the musical manifestation of a culture unwilling to take personal responsibility, pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, and live the American dream??!

(by the way, hello from South Bend, IN!)

Rob. R. Baron said...

Well said Mr. Grimsaburger. After attending this recent event, I must also correct my previous estimate that 50% of the blues could be fixed by just "not dating whores." The actual figure is much higher, with a substantial part the remainder being attributed to "the Man."

I have no idea who "the Man" is, but I think it's just a generic for the typical liberal tactic of blaming someone else. As another poster on KY Progress wisely puts it, "that is what liberals do...blame it on someone else."

South Bend, IN has it's share of liberal hippy noise parties itself does it not? The stench of so much unwashed liberalism must be hard to take, especially when it is warm out. Please be careful up there, I would hate for such a nice conservative boy such as your self to come into the cross hairs of the left wing smear merchants or be recruited by the gay agenda.

Finally, the urban dictionary has 3 definitions for Harumph. I hope you didn't mean it in any of the ways that refer to teabagging.

For advancing conservative dialogue, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

grimsaburger said...

Perhaps, Mr. Baron (shall I call you Sir Baron? Can I call your wife Lady Baron?), you'd like to take a look at this page and click on "View my Pics" to give you a better idea of whether you should be calling me "Mr. Grimsaburger." Although you're completely right in using the default male gender--it is, after all, the dominant sex, as God intended.
And yes, South Bend is awash in the stench of unwashed liberalism, although by the grace of God we've been able to hang on to our Republican House rep, whose sacrifices to the free market (bless its holy name) and small family businesses like Merck and Archer Daniels Midland have been so plentiful.

grimsaburger said...

Or try this page. HTML was created by evil liberal saboteurs; no wonder I have so many difficulties with the simplest tags.

LoveBus said...

LOL, what would you call your idea of fun? Sitting on a yacht and drinking champagne with all your stuck up friends??

Rob. R. Baron said...

Well, Mr. LoveBus, I like to have fun in non-Liberal ways that don't involve illegal drugs or sodomy. I'm sure it's hard for a Liberal like you to imagine, but a good time can be had without these things. To paraphrase the degenerate Canadian band Black Boot Trio who in a moment of clarity said "You Don't have to Drink To Have Fun".

And since you felt the need to insult my friends, Don Perignon, and my yacht The Baroness, I can only assume you are one of the Left Wing Smear Merchants of the vast Left Wing Conspiracy. Either that, or your moniker is a thin disguise and you are actually the pornographer who does BangBus.com (which I will not link to so I can keep this blog family friendly).

For smacking down this filth-peddling pornographer, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Rob. R. Baron said...

Madam Grimsaburger,
Please accept my humble apologies for not divining your appropriate gender. You are quite correct about HTML. It was invented by Europeans. A True Conservative Hero, Shelley the Republican, has done a series of exposes on it and the evil communist Linux conspiracy. Be careful when you use it. Your are playing with fire.

For spreading the word on the evils of HTML and Linuxism, Your Welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire