Sunday, November 26, 2006

More Americans are Getting in On the Bitch Slapping of the Electorate

Dear America,
As I said previously, I will cease bitch-slapping you for allowing terrorist sympathizers control of our Federal Legislators. But that doesn't mean I won't reprint some bitch-slapping from other freedom loving patriots.

So True:

'Real comics'

The Democrats are real comics. Since they won a few seats in the House and Senate, their leaders, Sen. Harry Reid and Rep. Nancy Pelosi, are asking the President to engage in bipartisanship.

Where have they been for the past six years when the President needed them?

They ignored the needs of the country and spent their time complaining and trashing.


Louisville 40241

Liberals will scream upon reading that "they were ignored by the Republican leadership" or "they were marginalized", as if they expected clear thinking conservatives, untainted by fallacious liberal thinking, to do anything but marginalize and ignore the stupid liberals. That is what they are elected to do.

I thought this next guy was actually a liberal but then I realized he is trying to be sarcastic. NOTE TO CONSERVATIVES: Leave the sarcasms to pompous Hollywood liberal elitess. This is one of the few areas where liberals naturally excel over conservatives that doesn't involve sodomy and handing out welfare to lazy people. You see, sarcasm is too much like lieing for conservatives to be good at.

Hallelujah! Liberals are in charge, tax hikes, pass for illegals assured (Non-Subscribers can suck it)

Glory! Hallelujah! Praise the electorate! Happy days are here again! The Liberals (whoops — Democrats) are back in control! Oh, the sheer joy of it all! Higher taxes, amnesty for illegals, much ado about nothing and no concensus on anything! “Pack up the babies, grab the old ladies and everyone go (with sincere apologies to Neil Diamond) to Sister Pelosi’s traveling salvation show.” Our redemption draweth nigh! Guest Preachers: Brothers Kennedy, Reid, Dean and surprise guests. Be very careful what you pray (wish) for. Sometimes the wanting is far better than the having.


Especially, if you are making minimum wage and get displaced when it is raised by the Democrats in January, he should have added.

It don't stop there:

Yarmuth's `crawfishing'

It's already starting. John Yarmuth is crawfishing away from the East End bridge.


Besides letting all of Bush's tax cuts expire (essentially raising taxes on all of us), forcing our brave military to 'put their tails between their legs' and run home from Iraq (like his hero Clinton did at Mogadishu), you can count on 20 million illegal Mexicans being made immediate citizens. And there won't be any new fence, either.

I just hope all who voted for Yarmuth and the other liberals realize what you have turned loose on all of us, all because of hatred for President Bush.


Crestwood, Ky. 40014

I wish he would have attributed which liberal sponsored the legislation he quotes that forces our military to 'put their tails between their legs', but I will just assume it was John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, John Murtha or Hillary. It would have been nice to know for sure though.

But I found Mr. BlandFord's letter particularly inspiring because I could draw from it paralells in my own life from it. See my tags have expired on my car. When a cop finally stops me to tell me about it, I will just ask him why he wants to raise my taxes. I was paying this amount, then I effectively payed a lower amount, then they will expect me to pay more than I was. That is a tax increase! Of course, the liberals down at the KSP probably won't see it that way.

Ivory Tower Liberal Elites refer to the rhetorical style of the following letter as an ad hominem logical fallacy. That is just liberalspeak meaning that it is true and they can't argue with the facts.

'World War III'

If all those opposed to the Iraq war had lived in 1943, we'd be speaking Japanese.

Iraq is a strategic target for Iran and Syria in establishing control of all Middle East oil. Then they can destroy America by refusing to sell oil to America.

You may not admit it, but since the bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon and all subsequent attacks on America, we are in World War III.


Louisville 40220

I have to disagree with the last part of Stich, Dick's argument though because the Lebanon bombing happened when Reagan was President. It portrays him as weak and he shouldn't have brought it up except in the context of the Democrats being in control of Congress then too.

Sorry to have to do it to you America, but I feel like I have to keep on you, so that 2 years from now you don't make the same mistakes again. When that day comes and you have shown yourself to be trustworthy of something as serious as voting, you will realize your folly. You will thank me, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, when that day comes and for that, America, you are welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

America, We Still Have A Lot To Be Thankful For

Dear America,
I know that I have probably already convinced you that your whimsical, and most likely drunken voting strategies are going to have disastrous consequences that you are going to have to live with. So I'm not I'm not going to bitch slap you tonight like I have been doing for the last 3 weeks. It is after all the Holidays and the season of giving is upon us or not giving in the case of said bitch slaps.

You know I don't want to America, its just that you make me so mad some times, like when you vote for Democrats, that I almost think that you are purposely trying to make me mad. Are you purposely trying to make me mad, America? Don't you know how bad that makes me feel when you make me bitch slap you?

Anyway, instead I would like to address the good things that we have to be thankful for. Unlike the heathens and pagans among us, this is what we do this time of year.

We can be thankful that John Murtha was not elected House Majority Leader. I not even that sure what the House Majority Leader even does but I'm thankful it didn't happen because that is what Nancy Pelosi wanted. When he told that Arab back in the Eighties that "maybe I'll be interested, maybe I won't" in taking future bribes, he revealed himself as a flip-flopper, just like John Kerry. Either you take bribes or you don't. It's that simple.

If a guy I thought was an Arab with more money than sense tried to bribe me, I would not have looked at it as a possible future business opportunity. I would just assume that he was simply doing business as it is done where he comes from or maybe Europe and unknowledgable about the way things were done over here.

I wouldn't be trying to get him to invest money in my district. I would be schooling him on the necessity of not offering bribes to politicians, especially Democrats, who almost without fail start counting up the gay terrorist hookers they are going to hire and how much blow they are going to score when ever they see a big pile of cash. That might be OK for Arabiana, but it don't fly in Indiana!

Thankfully, thanks to the whole Arabs-bribing-congressman thing, Democratic Congressman are gun shy about taking bribes from Arabs now. That is fortunate in today's political climate. When Al-Queda types start bringing the briefcases of money to Nancy Pelosi "in tribute", she will hopefully think its FBI operatives and will not be interested "at this point". It might be our only hope with the Democrats in control of Congress.

And for that hope, America, you have J. Edgar Hoover to thank. And me, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, for telling you about it.

Though I can't speak for J, for my part America, you are welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Enemy is US

Dear America,
Some more letter to the editor writers in the Courier-Journal have come out in agreement with me on not letting just anybody vote anymore. They, like me, also believe that perhaps the responsibility of electing our leaders should not be left to people who would elect Democrats. Here is what they have to say:

Philistines rule

If an untainted person with the integrity, the accomplishments, the tangible hard dollars delivered to this city and the genuine class of an Anne Northup cannot earn the endorsement of your paper, we are clearly in the hands of the Philistines.

The philosopher Pogo must have been speaking to this city when he observed: "We has met the enemy and they is us."

Northup is gone. Crank up your keyboards and begin to camouflage Hillary Clinton as a reincarnation of Mother Theresa.

Woe be to any Republican running for office from this city. Their chances for election would be as remote as would be an endorsement for a cigarette at a cancer meeting.

W. T. McLAUGHsaLotNot


Pelosi's values

We, the people of Kentuckiana by our voting actions (or inactions) have succeeded in bringing Nancy Pelosi and her secular-progressive, San Francisco values to our area of the country.

This lady has a record of promoting the killing of innocent children, taxing all people who work in order to pay those who do not, is ignorant of the need to protect ourselves from foreign terrorists and demonstrates absolute disdain for our military families, our families and our democratic institutions.

Now, she is third in line for the presidency of our country.

I hope we are all happy. We and only we are responsible for our actions. We have met the enemy and it is us.

E. W. Hoser

LaGrange, Ky.

Mr. Hoser's letter was particularly enlightening. I hadn't thought about how when a Speaker of the House gets elected, their values are immediately thrust upon the rest of the nation or at least Kentucky. But I guess that is how we got exemptions for drinking on Sunday within racetracks and convention centers - that had to be Tip ONeal's doing. I also never imagined that someone who gets elected to Congress and then becomes the first woman ever elected to be Speaker of the House would "demonstrate absolute disdain" for "our democratic institutions" but she is a liberal and from San Fransisco so it could be expected.

But this is a continuing theme among conservative thinkers everywhere. Here's one from the Mongomery Advertisor.

Pogo right about real enemy's identity

Pogo, the main character in the long-ago comic strip by the same name, once said, "We have met the enemy and he is us." Sometimes it appears that the worst enemy of America's war against terrorism is "us."

We broadcast to the terrorists that a significant number of Americans are not behind our elected government's war against them, and if they hold out long enough we will go away. We call our president a liar and compare him to the world's most despicable characters, past and present. If we were to say the same about our neighbors we would be sued.

We divulge to the terrorists, and then protest, our government's effort to listen in on the terrorist's phone conversations and to follow his financial transactions. When we do catch one, we fight to prevent our interrogators from using reasonable methods to get information about his plans.

We demonstrate against our treatment of terrorists, but not about the terrorists' kidnapping and beheading of our citizens. We "Monday morning quarterback" the plans of the president and our military leaders to fight terrorism, but we cannot agree on a better plan.

We quote the First Amendment to justify our actions. Although most of this may be political, such actions smack of aiding and abetting the terrorists. It certainly doesn't help America win this war.

Bob Stover
Alexander City
Of course, Mrs. Stover misrepresents the philosopher W. T. McLAUGHsaLotNot identified as a cartoon character, but he still makes a lot of valid points. Also from the MA, is this encouraging letter:

Stop encouraging our enemies:

There are a lot of people, some powerful and rich, who have gotten on TV and condemned our president, our government, the war in Iraq and many other things connected to Republicans. Their sour-grapes attitude and their desire to have their say are not helping anyone.


The soldiers have access sometimes to TV, newspapers and other means of communication, and they, too, hear these remarks. This does nothing but further put them in harm's way by taking their minds off the job they are there to do.

The enemy has access to the news from our country, too. To hear our own citizens and politicians, as well as entertainment people, put this war and our president down further fuels their desire to do us harm.

Some of these naysayers claim to love this country. If so, why don't they use their influence to help someone who needs it, or by at least keeping their mouths shut. Yeah, I know we have freedom of speech, but there is also responsibility that goes with it. We are in the middle of a war. For heaven's sake, stop giving our enemies something to smile about.

Patricia Taylor


Mr. Taylor brings up some good points, not the least of which is that our soldiers should not have access to TV and newspapers, at least until we get this traitorous liberal media under control. Maybe we shouldn't give the terrorist access to our news either, and the only way to do this is to shut the press down. Our very freedom depends on shutting down the liberal media and shutting up people who disagree with our president.

Well, America, I hope that me and my fellow patriots have convinced you to see the error of your ways so that you never have the sick demonic urge to vote Democratic ever again. Remember our freedom is at stake, and if preserving it means stripping the voting rights from half of America, so be it.

One glorious day you'll thank me for it, and when that time comes America, your welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Friday, November 17, 2006

I Can't Help Myself, You Had Me at Hello

Dear America,
I know we've been through some rough times here lately, me with my impotent typing fingers and you with your yellow cut and run Democrat streak festering like some cancerous disease. I know I need to get back on the right track of righting your errant course. Here is my humble attempt at doing that.

You may not have heard about the latest lurid scandal from the Democrats involving the very rich ex-Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards, or as one of my new favorite conservative writers calls him "silver spoon liberal...little Johnny Edwards" and says about his political record:
"Wait a minute. I thought John Edwards was going to make Superman walk again. Oh yeah, he died!"
I think that is SO funny. Anyway, Edwards apparently sent some maccacan 'campaign worker' to stand in line for him to get a PlayStation 3 at Wal-Mart and now there is this big story about it. Whatever, just so you get that in the full context of what my new favorite conservative writer says, here is his whole post:
" Wait a minute. I thought John Edwards was going to make Superman walk again. Oh yeah, he died!

So, another silver spoon liberal is to be thrust upon America in the form of little Johnny Edwards. Isn't that special!

This reminds me of Nancy Pelosi, the leftist from CA who allegedly stands up for the union people yet hires illegals to work on her Napa Valley Vineyards and the union fools still vote for her, or liberals who whine about SUVs yet fly all over in their private jets.

The hypocrisy from the left never ends, never."
I knew when I read that, I was in the virtual company of greatness. I knew, fingers be damned, that I, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, had to post again. It is the encouragement of people like this that keep me going. So here is my followup to his inspiring words.
It always surprises me when Democrats do not change party affiliations once they get some money. It just makes sense that once you have something worth protecting from the excessive taxation of the liberals, you would do all that you could to protect your assets from being stripped from you and given to welfare queens, (the Regainesque, Cadillac-driving kind, not homosexuals in drag).

I suspect that in Edwards case, it is because he is a lawyer and the fortunes he receives from the lack of tort reform more than offset his parties' huge tax increases.

I am actually surprised that Edwards didn't actually get a gay illegal immigrant terrorist to stand in line for the game console instead of a campaign worker. Or maybe in the case of Edwards am I being redundant and they are always one and the same.

Yes, all Democrats should be walking or riding bicycles everywhere they go, just like their major funders, the Chinese, or they are hypocrites. Horses are not an option either because their flatulence also supposedly causes the so called global warming.

Finally, I, like Mr. So & So, am glad to see Superman dead. I think his powers were too strong to have been concentrated in one man, and the temptation to be corrupted by all that unchecked power is all too great, unless of course that one man is George W. Bush.

But I can't fault Pelosi for hiring illegals now. As I understand it, snooty Californians don't have the calloused hands for picking grapes. However, when she passes the Federally Mandated Wage Increase and puts all those poor people out of work, they can then go take the illegal's place picking grapes, because the illegals won't be able to climb that fence that is going to be built on the border.

Everybody Wins! At least until the terrorist attack us because they were emboldened by our election results.
As soon as I hit the publish button I felt invigorated! And I hold out hope, that somewhere deep down in your Democratically controlled congressional mind, maybe deep, dark down in the reptilian core of your brain, I can possibly reach the non Democratically-controlled part of you that wants to remain alive, and alive in that non-slave way the liberals want you to exist in.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

More Woodshed Woopin' for America

Dear America,
I am still too hurt from your recent betrayal to speak to you, so I will let others say it for me.

From the Courier-Journal:

Some 'new direction'

Prior to the election, we had unemployment at less than the average of the last four decades, record tax revenues, lower taxes, the stock market and our 401(k)'s at record levels, inflation at 20-year lows, plummeting oil prices, no terrorist attacks on U.S. soil since 9/11, and the federal deficit down 50 percent over last year.

The Democrats offered change, a new direction, and apparently the American people thought a change was in order, and gave Congress to the Democrats.

From overseas, we are getting congratulations for the results. The al-Qaida leader in Iraq is ecstatic over the election and promises to blow up the White House; Hugo Chávez, the Marxist leader of Venezuela, congratulates the Democrats and calls Bush a genocidal leader who should be sentenced to death; 200 members of the European Parliament sign a joint statement calling the election the beginning of the end of a six-year nightmare, and best of all, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei of Iran says the election is a victory for the Iranian nation.

Is this the "new direction" we voted for on Election Day?


Democrats' real agenda

Having campaigned as moderates, Democrats are wallowing in their glory and are wasting no time telling us what they "really" want to do.

Oblivious of the consequences, the Democrats want to provide more welfare - so who needs to work? Pass higher taxes - why work?

Roll back the Patriot Act — so terrorist can be free to plot another 9/11? Pull troops out of Iraq - so the terrorist can control oil?

Pass gun control — so you can't defend yourself? Unfettered immigration — why do we need a country?

The result will be, we'll reap what we sow.

More people not needing or wanting to work; companies not able to stay in business.

Terrorists free to terrorize. Gas prices at $20 a gallon or not available at all, and a country overrun with illegal immigrants....

Allison Thomas

I am sure Osama Bin Laden and the Cave Dwellers had a rip roaring election party. And Rummy being gone was icing on the cake!
Rumor is OBL will have his coming out party in January.
Pelosi and Reid have him booked as the first witness in the Bush impeachment. Then he is off with Murtha and Biden on a college speaking tour about America's torture techniques.

- Blackie

There you have it, America. More of the player-hating you deserve for electing Democrats to a majority in Congress. Soon they will outlaw Jesus and force Muslimism on everyone. You obviously can't be allowed to ever make these kinds of decisions for yourself ever again or our very freedom is at stake!

We can only hope that when those newly elected Democrats decsend locust-like upon the nation's capitol, God himself will see how wicked Washington, DC has become with a Democrat majority and send a hurricane to take them out, like he did New Orleans when they were going to have that gay pride parade. Since it too is filled with black people, FEMA will again be slow to respond and the resulting chaos will cause the ultimate gridlock, or so we can only hope for the good of the nation.

Until then we can only wait idly by while THEY prepare to take our guns, socialize our medicine, raise our taxes and make it easier for terrorist to blow us up and for gay people to recruit our school kids to promote their special rights agenda.

One day, when all but a few of us remain after the sodomites and Islamists of the Democratic party have reduced this this country to a bunch of snivelling PC feminist atheist pansies, it's going to hit you like a righteous ephiphany. You will think "Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire tried to warn us, but though we had eyes, we could not hear, and though we have ears, we did not see."

You will wish you had listened to me. You'll want to thank me when that day comes, and when it does, America, you would be welcome. But unfortunately I don't associate with snivelling PC feminist atheist pansies, so America shape up or move to France!

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

America is Fixing to Go to The Woodshed, and Its Going to Pick its Own Hickory Switch on It's Way!

or WTF??? I Turn My Back for a Minute and Look What You've Done!

Dear America,
I take a little time off of blogging to let my typing hands recover and look what happens. You completely lose your way. I suppose I only have myself to blame, but I choose not to. THIS IS YOUR FAULT AMERICA!

You really screwed the pooch this time and not in a Rick Santorum kind of way. Our great leader told you repeatedly that a vote for Democrats was a vote for the terrorists. But did you listen? No, you went ahead and gave them control of the House of Republicans. Nice going. Now they are going to raise our taxes so they can give terrorists welfare. But you don't have to take my word for it, America. Here are a few others:

From the Courier-Journal:

This is a message for John Yarmuth. If you try to take away our tax cuts and engage (with your fellow Democrats) in a "cut-and-run" strategy in Iraq and Afghanistan, you will be another one-term wonder like Mike Ward.

Do not show more loyalty to Nancy Pelosi than to the people of Louisville or you will hear about it in 2008.

Also, if what the Democrats are proposing sees the light of day, Louisville could end up like any major city in Israel (with constant battles with terrorism) because the people of this district voted for a candidate that was endorsed by al-Qaida. Beware.


… I hope the people of Louisville and the staff at The Courier-Journal are happy with an anti-family, anti-Christian, pro-abortion, anti-gun socialist in Congress, because that's what they've chosen.


To put a positive spin on the race: Anne Northup deserves a break from the rat race in Washington. John Yarmuth gets to try on the new lifestyle of having a real job.

Let's give this golfer and silent partner a chance. Those of you who voted for him: Please don't lower your standards now; watch him dabble with our future….


Yes, bring the troops home because we all want this war to come to our Lexus SUV's in our driveways and kill our no good redneck children, right? That's how you nuts all voted. And minimum wage being raised means that the educated working people will have to pay for it. Healthcare for everyone? Nice thought, but I don't want to pay for someone else's! I have my own problems and I can't afford good insurance, but I do not ask others to pay!


With the election of John Yarmuth, we in the 3rd District are the greatest losers. ... Ted Kennedy has another pawn, and Osama bin Laden has another ally.


After watching Anne Northup concede to her opponent, two things come to mind.

First, I should start budgeting money to stock up on ammunition for protection once the terrorists decide to move operations from the Middle East to the United States.

Second, with the apparent take over by Democrats of our government, I can only say, God help us.

Gary Billings Sr.

If [Yarmouth] votes to bring the troops home from Iraq too soon, that means we will have to contend with the terrorists somewhere else. Unfortunately, that means on U.S. soil.

If he tries to repeal President Bush's tax cuts, that means taxes will be raised. If he has his way with the health care system, we will have yet another socialist program and it will cost taxpayers billions, and it will raise our taxes. With taxes raised, that means those "evil" big businesses, who employ thousands of Americans, will only raise their prices and cut jobs. With higher taxes, interest rates will increase and the housing "bubble" will really burst. The prosperity this country currently enjoys is partly a result of Bush's tax cuts.

... I do agree with Yarmuth on his stance on immigration. We need to make sure that people who enter the U.S. do so legally, that way terrorists will not use this weakness. I hope he will have a backbone to stand against his party if President Bush comes up with a good plan.

Jeff Gosnell

See, America? We have worked so hard for the last 30 years convincing you that Democrats are evil and what do you do? Vote in a bunch of Democrats. You might as well go down to the precinct in Hell and vote for the Devil. Lets see how happy you are about this election once your increased tax money starts getting sent to buy terrorists plane tickets to come over here and have suicide missions. THAT IS THE DEMOCRAT PLAN!!! Buy all the terrorist airline tickets so they can come over here and blow themselves up in our driveways. That is how the Democrats are going to "eliminate terrorists."

America, you have been a very bad democracy. You had better start to shape up or maybe we need to rethink this whole suffrage thing, and give the right to vote back to landowning men whose vote won't be bought with higher minimum wages and universal health care. I can barely stand to look at you for this terrible betrayal so this is all I'm going to write for now.

But don't think for a minute I am through with you, America, I will not spare you my rod. One day you will thank me for this. And when that time comes, America, You're Welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire