Sunday, November 26, 2006

America, We Still Have A Lot To Be Thankful For

Dear America,
I know that I have probably already convinced you that your whimsical, and most likely drunken voting strategies are going to have disastrous consequences that you are going to have to live with. So I'm not I'm not going to bitch slap you tonight like I have been doing for the last 3 weeks. It is after all the Holidays and the season of giving is upon us or not giving in the case of said bitch slaps.

You know I don't want to America, its just that you make me so mad some times, like when you vote for Democrats, that I almost think that you are purposely trying to make me mad. Are you purposely trying to make me mad, America? Don't you know how bad that makes me feel when you make me bitch slap you?

Anyway, instead I would like to address the good things that we have to be thankful for. Unlike the heathens and pagans among us, this is what we do this time of year.

We can be thankful that John Murtha was not elected House Majority Leader. I not even that sure what the House Majority Leader even does but I'm thankful it didn't happen because that is what Nancy Pelosi wanted. When he told that Arab back in the Eighties that "maybe I'll be interested, maybe I won't" in taking future bribes, he revealed himself as a flip-flopper, just like John Kerry. Either you take bribes or you don't. It's that simple.

If a guy I thought was an Arab with more money than sense tried to bribe me, I would not have looked at it as a possible future business opportunity. I would just assume that he was simply doing business as it is done where he comes from or maybe Europe and unknowledgable about the way things were done over here.

I wouldn't be trying to get him to invest money in my district. I would be schooling him on the necessity of not offering bribes to politicians, especially Democrats, who almost without fail start counting up the gay terrorist hookers they are going to hire and how much blow they are going to score when ever they see a big pile of cash. That might be OK for Arabiana, but it don't fly in Indiana!

Thankfully, thanks to the whole Arabs-bribing-congressman thing, Democratic Congressman are gun shy about taking bribes from Arabs now. That is fortunate in today's political climate. When Al-Queda types start bringing the briefcases of money to Nancy Pelosi "in tribute", she will hopefully think its FBI operatives and will not be interested "at this point". It might be our only hope with the Democrats in control of Congress.

And for that hope, America, you have J. Edgar Hoover to thank. And me, Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire, for telling you about it.

Though I can't speak for J, for my part America, you are welcome.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

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