Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Mormonism: Apostate Abomination Worse than Homosexuality?

Dear America,
Grimsaburger(Suspected Liberal Sympathizer), my pet liberal, posted on her blog a complaint about the workers next door blasting Rush Limbaugh. Most reasonable people would be grateful. She was not, I can only infer from that that this must be her time of the month. She claimed that Rush, or someone, was "bitching about Mormons". I did not hear the show described but tried to correct her opinion about it anyway.
I for one, would be glad to listen to Rush bitch about the Mormons. Its about time if you ask me. You know anybody can go off against gay people (or Democrats). They're a bunch of wussy sissies. It's not like they fight back in anyway beyond barbing criticism of what you are wearing.

But nobody hardly ever says anything about the Mormons, who fundamentally commit scriptural abominations and are probably where gays got the original inspiration for "redefining marriage". Their apostasy is far more abominable than any dirty man sex. Yet we still allow THEM to get married and raise and indoctrinate kids into their sorry, hellbound, wicked lifestyle.

Anyone who would want more than one wife has got to be a little off in the head anyway. Michael Savage ought to write a book about Mormonism being a Mental Disorder.
For keeping ever diligent against the mounting Mormon scourge, you are welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Friday, July 06, 2007

Prosper.com: A Boon to the Small Time Borrower and Prospective Investor or A Back Door To Communism?

Dear America,
I just wanted to report upon a growing menace that threatens our very economic existence. Here is an adaptation of a post I made over at Kentucky Progress, my favorite Kentucky political blog:

The liberals over at NPR had a story about Prosper.com. I was only listening to document their elitist liberal bias and their treasonous bad mouthing of the president, I swear!

But it is apparently some wacky scheme where people who want to borrow money put up listings for loan amounts and the interest rate they are willing to pay and people who want to lend money and can accept the possible risk can bid on partially or fully funding those loans.

At first I thought what a neat way to let capitalism work in a problem space such as this (we were discussing pay-day loan companies). But then I realized that since it was on NPR, I can only think this is some kind of back door ploy to get communism into our banking industry. It sounds a little too "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs"-ish if you ask me. They are probably trying to destroy our sub-prime lending industry from the inside out and take our economy down with it so they can redistribute our wealth. The liberals can be so tricky at times, we must be ever vigilante!

These lefties are practically stealing money that rightfully belongs to Chase and Citibank, given how much money those two both pay our Congressmen to make sure they have every possible advantage over the plebes they make their money off of.

But I thought you might find it interesting, if you haven't already heard about it.

So for exposing Prosper.com as the shameless bunch of Communist who are trying to destroy our banking industry, you are most certainly welcome America.
Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

UPDATE: Mr. Progress (Kentucky) kindly responded:
Rob, as much as I admire your diligence, slow down just a little bit. What you describe sounds like a free market solution. Lay off the NPR for a few weeks, will you?

"Lay off the NPR"? Always good advice KP, that's always good advice. - RRB

A rare and most sincere apology: My virtuous conscience compels me to apologize to the fine folks at Progress Software Corporation (NASDAQ: PRGS) whose URL of Progress.com I had previously mis-identified as this imminent commie threat. I'm sure they do swell work, and since they are listed on the stock exchange, must be nice and successful people, with access to more lawyers than I would care to shake a stick at, even though most lawyers are Democrats. So please keep them in mind if you ever need some data infrastructure products or some service oriented business applications developed and deployed.

Question: Are Liberals Really to Blame For Our Immigration Woes? Answer: Abso-freekin'-lutely.

Dear America,
I recently commented on the immigration debate and tried to engage one of my fellow conservatives, one Mr. Red Rage Hate Monger. This was concerning a bill introduced in Kentucky to penalize those that hire illegal immigrants.
red rage hate monger had this to contribute...

I noticed today that there's hundreds of them that come out at dusk and hang out at all these new county parks around the state.

The county sheriffs ignore them instead of rounding them up and shipping them back to California to the liberals that turned them loose on us to begin with.

I replied:
Come now, Red Rage Hate Monger, do you really think there are enough gainfully employed or business owning liberals to have "turned them loose on us"? That would imply they were not sitting around on their sofas, smoking the dope, and waiting on their welfare checks to arrive from the federal government. Nope, they are coming here to work for people who have jobs to offer, and conservatives are the only choice between liberals and conservatives when it comes to owning a business that involves hiring people and doesn't involve hemp string and beads.

Liberals just want to hand out checks, they don't actually want to "pay" money in exchange for labor because it is so against the grain of the communistic and aetheistic ideal that they are striving for, so naturally they are not suited to owning businesses.

While we can certainly blame liberals for wanting to give illegal immigrants hugs and free money, they are actually "unleashed" by conservative business owners fighting to keep wages down so that we consumers don't have to pay as much for our goods.

What we need to do is to try and make Americans happier with less money and lower standards of self-actualization. Only when Americans are happy making the same thing they did thirty years ago, will conservative business owners not have to resort to hiring illegals to keep the unions out of their workforce.

When an illegal gets hurt on the job, you just pay him for the day and then send him on his way, hopefully back to Mexico, but probably down to the nearest schoolyard to sell reefers to the little children. When it's an American, you have to worry about lawsuits, worker's compensation, then you have to find a way to fire them that doesn't look like it was just because they had outlived their use fullness.

But the more I think about it, the more I see the whole immigration problem actually IS the fault of liberals, cause they had liberal activists judges and labor union lobbiests make it harder to employ Americans by defining some onerous standards about how workers can be treated. With all the rules and regulations heaped upon the poor small businessman by liberals in our government, it is no wonder that the noble people running America's business have turned to dirty and unclean Mexicans that they are in no way accountable for.

BTW, most of these Mexicans are Papists, who bow to a Roman dictator. Their allegiance is not to the US or even Mexico, but to this theistic despot with over a billion followers under his command. Here we have a world leader who supports terrorists by saying we should stop killing them, and pull out of Iraq. I can only hope that our troops are not allowed to be demoralized by that man's words. Perhaps he should be next on Pat Robertson's list of leaders to "Take-Out", right behind Chavez.
So for reminding those that Know Nothing about what this debate is all about, your welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire