Wal-Mart, the Solution to Our Health Care Woes? or Ain't No Freaking Way That's Gonna Happen

Dear America,
Below is a response to the Kentucky Progress Blog Entry "WalMart Shoppers Should Demand Health Reform".

Mr. Progress,
Do you think they will have the production of diagnoses moved over to China once they have determined that diagnoses from American sources are less cost efficient?

That would make good sense. Chinese doctors are not hampered with malpractice insurance fees, and they do have an overabundant supply of organs to be donated to people who need them.

But even if they don't do this, they still might have problems managing the staff in their clinics. Like when one of their doctors wants to take off to go on one of those Pharmaceutical Company Sponsored Golf outings, and it might mean overtime for another doctor, they just can't put the doctor who wants off on the night shift until he quits like they might do to a dairy manager. They won't be able to lock doctors in the building overnight until they are finished seeing patients although they will probably have them on salary so they won't be able to complain about uncompensated overtime.

For Wal-mart to get into the health care industry may require a complete change in their corporate culture, where they may have to change the way they look at their employees. They can't just look at a Doctor as one of the expendable pods who stock their shelves, they actually will need to make an actual investment in a human being that doesn't sit on their board of directors.

It is in this area I think they will fail as they have absolutely no experience with retaining an employee with actual skills that other businesses may be willing to pay more for or providing the benefit packages that professionals such as Doctors and nurses are used to.

I actually know some of the folks who worked at Walmart.com (which was actually a buyout of a failed tool seller from the dotcom bubble) and what does Wal-mart do for the computer programmers there? They put security cameras in their cubicles and made them pay for the pencils they used and the coffee they drank and to really rub their face in the pile of poo that their job had become they made them do The Wal-Mart Cheer.

Of course, when they all raised hell and threatened to walk off the job, in a rare "pro-labor" move the suit responsible for those changes was promptly fired. But the "Bob" who replaced him would probably have done the same thing, and I will be damn surprised if they don't try to get someone who spent a decade of his life earning a title in front of his name to shake his ass while yelling "Squiggly!"*.


*For those uninitiated to The Wal-Mart Cheer, "Squiggly" is what they yell when they get to the "~" between 'l' and 'M'. And yes, you are supposed to shake your butt when you scream it or you are just not a "team player".

KP's Reply:

Maybe, Rob, but I think they will probably just run it like their optical centers and pharmacies.

Probably accurate, but oh-so BORING. I guess my biggest problem with Wal-Mart is that its blatantly unfair that poor people can go there and pay less for things that cost twice as much as Neiman-Marcus. So for exposing the dangers of Wal-Mart to an unsuspecting populace, Your Welcome America,

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Defending the Honor of Christopher Columbus

Dear America,
You may have noticed in my list of "Them", links there is one for "Suspected Liberal Sympathizer". This is a charity case that I have taken on, a poor dear deluded woman who thinks her place in life is to become one of those despicable people that David Horowitz is always trying to warn us against. I am afraid it is all for naught, as she, like you America, doesn't seem either capable or willing to do what is best for her. I normally just try to constructively prod her in the right direction, but it is mostly beating a dead horse. But still I try, like today when she had the audacity to link Columbus with genocide in a glib passing phrase. I was not having it.

Ms. Grimasburger,
You more than anyone should know that any correlation between Columnbus and genocide is simply the work of liberal Historical Revisionists and Ivory Tower Liberal Elites.

You probably don't watch Fox News so you are probably not aware that all this talk about genocide by Columbus is simply liberals trying to always depict white men as criminal degenerates, while at the same time elevating the relevance and accomplishments of minorities and women to a similar stature as those who actually built this country into what it is today.

This is so they can make the writings of Marx and Hitler equivalent to Madison and Jefferson and the books by the Marquis de Sade to be equivalent to the Bible.

Liberals, because they hate America for some self-loathing reason, want school children to think that our founding fathers were scumbags so they always talk about things like raping, killing, slavery, and locking women up in mental institutions for wanting to vote and not the steady march of progress that has brought us where we are today. Or rather to the 1950's when everything was right with America and everyone knew there place.

That was before the liberals had to stir things up, interloping into other people's voting standards, demoralizing our military, and perhaps worst of all, making contraception legal and decriminalizing sodomy.

Now they want us to not celebrate Columbus day! Well, I am here to tell you that this holiday means a great deal to our fellow Italian Americans, much as those Irish love the St. Patrick's Day (never mind that the lack of snakes available to hunt plague bearing rats probably brought more death to Ireland than snakes ever would have. Heck the Irish who die from alcohol poisoning on any given St. Patrick's day is probably more than would have ever died from snakebite.)

So while I wouldn't want any Italians living in my neighborhood (they are after all gangsters and papists who bow to a Roman dictator), I can not idly stand by and watch you smear this great segment of our population along with their greatest hero ( or rather their greatest hero who wasn't a fag).

And trust me, you don't want some WOPs pissed off at you. Especially if you breed race horses.

She later acknowledges my forsight:

Ah, Mr. Baron, you never let me down. Especially the part about the Marquis de Sade and the Bible. It's taken decades for anyone to discover it, but you've identified the most important secret foundations of the Liberal Atheist Homosexual Feminist agenda! Bravo!

I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

So for defending the discoverer of this country, even if he was 300 years too early to be a real American AND for discovering and exposing some of the lesser known but more nefarious underpinnings of liberalism, you are welcome America.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire

Hilton Head Island, Heaven on Earth

Dear America,
I have just returned from a most fabulous time at a most fabulous place: Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Not only does South Carolina have the most active organization for re-Separation from the Godless morass that America has become thanks to the Liberals and their islamist conspirators, but they have also established within Hilton Head, SC, the time honored tradition of exlusionism based upon your own personal achievement index, which silly liberals might not realize is an allusion to your wallet.

A good portion of the island is covered with these private gated communities that keep out everybody who doesn't belong. The Mexicans you hire at Lowes and Home Depot have to be granted access prior to their arrival. Even if you have friends who are staying at some of the less swanky accommodations, you can hide from their poor asses inside of your sweet villa.

The security guards won't let them in, unless they are staying there. And if they aren't staying there, they are probably some skanky ass poor person who would be bringing every body down. I think the guards at The Shipyards are particular eager to give the Rodney King treatment to anybody who might want to just "come visit". If you are so condemned as to having to bring your mother in law with you, you can stay at The Shipyards, put her up somewhere else, and then their security team mace her if she so much as even tries to come by where you are staying.

Hilton Head, South Carolina is a proud reminder of what America is supposed to be about. A place where poor people can feel uncomfortable and minorities can still feel like minorities. Like the title says Heaven on Earth.

My only wish is that they would please just do something about those damn dolphins. My wife was swimming out on the beach and some dolphins came very close to her. I can only hope she is not tainted from their rampant homosexuality and lack of monogamy. Tuna just hasn't tasted the same since they started keeping the dolphins out of it.

So please America, take Hilton Head SC as a model of what we need to become. A town where the sun had better not set on your smelly Mexican ass, and if you don't have five dollars and a car to get to Harbor Town, well you probably shouldn't even be trying to get there. A week in this place is what my tax cut got me, what did your Earned Income Credit get you, dirtbag? You Democratic Majority Electing Scum.

Your Humble Servant,
Rob R. Baron ~ Esquire